Bill's Point Of View

As I arrived back at my doorstep, I stepped out of the carriage and gazed at my home. With a grateful smile, I entered my house.

"Allow me to take your coat, sir." Said Davidson.

"Where are the kids, Davidson?" I asked.

"They should be asleep, sir. They all went to bed without eating so I left water and snacks in each bedroom in case they got hungry." Davidson smiled.

"I'm going to bed, Davidson." I sighed.

"Do you need any help, sir?" He asked.

"No, I will be okay." I replied and I made my way up to my chambers.

These wretched hallways made me feel uneasy from all of the unsettling memories and events that have taken place within this very house.

I finally reached my door and stepped in.

With a heavy sigh I took off my shoes and coat and made my way to change.

Looking in the mirror I saw a sad, pathetic man that stood before me.

With a sigh I walked over to my bed, finally ready to get some peace and sleep.

I felt warm rays of sunlight seeping through my eyelids and I opened my eyes.

When I opened them, I found myself outside, somewhere during the spring.

The flowers were bloomed, birds were singing, and the air was potent with a sweet smell, poppies.

I heard sweet, beautiful music sway through my ears, the more it sang, the more I recognized the tune, or rather the angelic voice.

"Your grace." The voice sang so softly but yet so beautifully.

As I looked around, that was when I saw it, an angel. The angel was holding something so close to her chest as if it were a sacred treasure that she was afraid to ever let go of.

As I looked closer, I recognized what she was holding, a baby.

The angel was glowing with light, brighter than the sun itself, shining beautifully like a star, the only star in my world.

The angel lifted her face to finally look at me, smiling,

Ashley.

"Oh my, your grace. It's been so long." Ashley hummed.

"Ashley...." I whispered.

"Your grace, looking back, when we were young, we lived a happy life, didn't we?

I met the man of my dreams; I was rescued; we lived our days with love and had two beautiful children; though Alina is with me now, you see your grace." She looked down holding the child even tighter.

The child had beautiful, dark blue eyes and fluffy white hair.

"Ashley....." I croaked.

She placed the baby back into the cradle and made her way closer to me.

As she stood before me her arms latched over my shoulders, her fingers twiddling through my hair.

"Please, don't cry.

Tell me what's going on in your world.

Nina, I bet she has done a great job keeping the house stable, right?

Ah! And Jackson is probably a doctor now too, isn't he?

I bet he takes after his mother looks more and more each day.

Oh, Jackson and Aisha should be closer now, shouldn't they?

They must be so happy together.

I knew you wouldn't let me down."

Ashley smiled as she placed her hand on my face, making my lips quiver.

The feeling I was feeling, I didn't know if I felt sad, happy or guilty seeing her, maybe a mix of all three.

"And I bet Aisha has grown up to be an outstanding lady, hasn't she?

After all, she has my looks, right?

Your grace?

Ah, I've also heard through prayers that a boy named Helios met her!" Ashley smiled brightly, her hands folded and her blue eyes sparkling with curiosity.

"To think our daughter is so popular with the boys!

I wonder if they are fighting over who will take her hand when she debuts!

Has she expressed a preference for attending school rather than being homeschooled?

Ah! Maybe she could find more friends there!" Ashley smiled.

Ashley doesn't even resent Aisha at all, like I did......

Even if she was part of the reason why she died.....

My throat felt dry, and my heart started to ache even more, as if someone put their hand in my chest and started twisting my heart.

"Honey, why are you crying?

Did something happen to Aisha?" Ashley asked, her hand cupped one side of my face so softly.

My hand found my way to hers where it was gently laying up on my face, and brought it down to my side. With utmost care, I gently entwined my fingers with hers, treating the connection as though she were a fragile piece of porcelain, my touch cautious as if the slightest pressure might shatter her and the moment flashing away through my eyes.

Yet, my grasp conveyed an underlying tension, as if I harbored a subtle fear of the connection slipping away into the intangible folds of time.

"Ashley, is this really you?" I asked.

"Yes, it is me, your grace." She smiled.

Her radiant smile, directed towards me, seemed to carry an vibrant warmth, as though she had decided to let go of the memories of how poorly I had treated her in the past, even in the shadow of her departure from my world.

It was almost as though the threads of bitterness had unraveled, allowing this ethereal connection to transcend the boundaries of our shared history.

The atmosphere was bathed in a soft, ethereal glow as I was haunted by regret, standing face to face with the spectral presence of my wife. My voice trembled as I began to speak, each word carrying the weight of years of neglect and sorrow.

"Ashley, I... I've never embraced her, never felt the warmth of a father's hug enveloping our daughter.

I've denied her the simplest reassurances, never once telling her I was proud of the incredible person she is becoming.

I avoided her, distanced myself from the very essence of our shared love.

No laughter, no shared moments, only a void where the bond between a father and daughter should have thrived."

I paused, my words hanging in the air like a heavy mist. "I blamed her, Ashley, for your untimely departure from my world. For thirteen long years, I've given her nothing but a cold shoulder, a silent punishment for a crime that she never committed."

My gaze dropped to the dancing green grass below my feet, my confession heavy,

"I failed her in every possible way. I didn't even bother to hire a proper teacher for her, I just left her in the care of Nina.

I've denied her the chance to learn and grow, to reach her full potential."

A sigh, laden with the burden of guilt, escaped my lips.

"I've never given her anything, not even the basic joys of childhood. I've confined her, restricted her, like a bird in a cage.

I wouldn't even let her venture out to make friends, cutting her off from the world and the connections she deserved."

My voice wavered, breaking under the weight of my admission.

"Ashley, I ruined her completely....." I could feel my throat tightening as I admitted such terrible things.

"The daughter we brought into this world, innocent and full of potential, bears the scars of my negligence.

I see it now, and I can't undo the damage I've caused. I am left with nothing but regret and the haunting knowledge that I failed both you and Aisha."

At that point, half of my heart broke completely.

"Honey, I don't believe you. You're still such a clown..." Ashley chuckled, but my response was a stoic silence.

"Honey?" she exclaimed, her eyes reflecting only disbelief and denial.

In the tranquil embrace of a springtime afternoon, the air hung hushed and lifeless, not a single bird's melody or rustle of leaves disrupting the serene stillness that clung to the outdoor surroundings. It was completely silent.

"Th-there's no way you would do something like that. Although we've had our ups and downs, I know that you're a warm and kind-hearted person, Bill." Ashley whimpered.

"BILL, PLEASE SAY SOMETHING, PLEASE!" She screamed.

I didn't know what to say, there was only one thing that I could say,

"I'm sorry."

The beautiful angel that stood before me dropped to her knees, as if I had snapped one of her wings. She covered her ears with her hands as if trying to block out any sort of lie, but unfortunately, it was all the truth.

"A-Aisha..... Bill... Just why...?" Ashley quivered.

"I was just so upset after you died.... I - I...."

In the bitter depths of that moment, the weight of a heart-wrenching revelation settled upon me, laying bare the magnitude of the heartless rationalization I had clung to.

It was an epiphany soaked in sorrow, realizing that no matter the countless reasons I could conjure beneath the sun, none could justify the unforgivable act of directing my frustrations toward an innocent child.

Each and every excuse I had fabricated, when scrutinized through the lens of remorse, emerged as a stark testament to the depths of my own despair and the pathetic misdirection of my emotions.

The poignant truth unfolded before me, unveiling a narrative woven with threads of regret and sorrow, as I acknowledged that my actions and their pathetic justifications were simply the manifestations of an anguished soul desperately seeking relief.

The woman before me finally broke, she was crying, her smile finally wiped away.

"Bill, I trusted you to love Aisha as deeply as I would have.

How could you mistreat our child like this? I made excuses for you when I was alive because we were all under immense stress from everything that had happened!" Ashley screamed, tears streaming down her face and hatred flaming in her eyes.

"Bill, despite the hurt you've caused, I choose not to harbor hatred within me. It takes a depth of compassion that, perhaps, as an adult, you struggle to extend towards a child. In the face of your actions, I find it within myself to grant the powerful gift of forgiveness, a gesture that I hope transcends resentment and allows the healing to begin." Ashley whispered.

I dropped down to my knees to quickly hold the angel in my arms, in my embrace once again.

But in that moment, her warmth, once comforting, slips through my fingers like grains of sand. The air is filled with a shimmering cascade of gold glitter, each particle a painful reminder of what is slipping away.

"Wait! Please, don't go," I plead, my voice cracking with the weight of emotion. Her eyes, once filled with life and laughter, now reflect an ethereal glow as she begins to vanish. I struggle to hold onto the fading silhouette, my heart shattering with each passing moment.

Memories flooded my mind, the shared laughter, the tears, the whispered promises, the quiet moments of solace. Yet, all of it is slipping away, dissipating into the void. I clung to the remnants of her presence, but it's like trying to catch a fleeting dream in the palm of my hand.

Tears blurred my vision as I continued to reach for her, my hands grasping at the emptiness. As she faded, fragments of our life together swirl in the air, like a bittersweet dance of memories. The golden glitter enveloped me, a surreal embrace that only intensified the ache in my chest. Regret, longing, and a profound sense of loss grip my soul, leaving me gasping for the air that once held the essence of our love.

In that fleeting moment, an unexpected jolt coursed through my body, a sudden sensation akin to plummeting through the dimensions of time and space. As the disorienting descent unfolded, a surreal tapestry of imagery enveloped my senses, painting the canvas of my subconscious with vivid hues and inexplicable landscapes. It was as if the very fabric of reality had unraveled, allowing me to traverse the intricate corridors of a dreamworld.

As the surreal journey unfolded, each passing moment felt like a kaleidoscopic odyssey, navigating through the ethereal realms of my imagination. The boundaries between reality and fantasy blurred, casting me adrift in a cosmic dance where the ordinary rules of existence ceased to apply. Colors melded into a mesmerizing symphony, and the very essence of time seemed to bend and twist in response to the whims of this otherworldly expedition.

In the final moments, I pressed my hand against the dissipating form of my wife, desperately clinging to the intangible. "I love you," I whispered, a feeble declaration that hangs in the air like a delicate prayer. And then, with a heartbreaking inevitability, she was gone, leaving me alone in a room filled with the remnants of a love that once burned brightly but now exists only in the fragments of golden memories.

Just as swiftly as the dream had taken hold, a sudden awakening jolted me back into the familiar embrace of reality. As I opened my eyes to the tangible world around me, the remnants of that dream lingered, a vivid imprint etched upon the canvas of my mind.

In that moment, I had nothing left to say. The other half of my heart shattered entirely.

Why do we only grasp regret in hindsight?

What right do I have to ask for forgiveness now?

But I want to change and start to be better now, even though I'm late.

Chapter 20 - Confrontation

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