She felt like she was in a fairytale. Everything in her life was falling into place in the best possible way, and for the first time in years, she was happy. She had fallen so completely in love with Zeke that he was all she could think about. And it meant so much to her that he got along so well with all the important people left in her life. Kiel adored him, Avery and Axel accepted him easily into their friend group, and Doris and Gabe embraced him as a new member of their extended church family. All was well. So well, in fact, that she had all but forgotten about the letter she'd sent to her mom a couple weeks before.

It was on a Thursday night, after sharing a last meal with Zeke and Kiel before Kiel left to visit his parents in Spokane for a few days, that she came home to find someone standing on her front step. It took her a few moments before she saw who it was, and when she did her heart fell into her stomach. Her mother was waiting by her front door, and Emersyn considered turning around. But her mom had seen her, and really, hadn't she asked for this? She'd sent the letter, after all. So clearly, she'd wanted a response. She'd just thought it would come in the form of another letter, if it came at all.

She walked up the steps slowly, and she suddenly felt like a child who was about to be punished. Her mom's face was totally blank, and as Emersyn approached, she finally saw what everyone had been saying the whole time. Despite what she'd seen in the picture of her parents and Kiel together earlier in the summer, she really did look more like her dad. Her mom had long dark hair and deep brown eyes that looked sunken in from lack of sleep and years of drug use. Her skin was pale, and in the moonlight she looked like a porcelain doll. Emersyn was too freckled for that, especially since she'd just spent most of the summer outdoors.

"Hi," Emersyn said when she reached her front door.

"Hello," her mom said shortly, and again Emersyn felt like she was in trouble.

They stared at each other for a few moments, neither one sure what to say to the other. And then Emersyn sighed and said, "Do you want to come in?"

Her mom glanced at the front door, and a sad look crossed her face. "Sure. Yes, I...," she trailed off, taking a deep breath. "I would love to come in. Thank you."

Emersyn opened the door and let her mom in, following just behind her. And it occurred to her that her mom hadn't been back to the island since her dad had died. She wondered if her mom was thinking about that too. She looked around the house and was glad she'd actually taken the time to clean before she'd gone to Kiel's house for dinner. "It looks the same," her mom said, and Emersyn beamed with pride.

"Thanks," she replied. "I haven't changed much." She paused, thinking about the double meaning of what she'd just said. "I mean the house. I haven't changed much of the house." But she herself had changed, hadn't she?

Her mom nodded. "I know. It looks great."

Emersyn's heart pounded in her chest, and she felt all the anxiety about her mom wash over her once again. She pictured the old journal lying under her pillow on her bed in her mind, and she felt a pang in her chest. Meanwhile, her mom was walking around the living room, taking in all the trinkets her grandma had collected over the years that were still decorating the house. Her mom stopped at a shelf with a picture on it. With a tiny twitch of her lips, her mom reached for the picture and picked it up, examining it like a scientist would a specimen. It was a picture of her dad when he was a teenager. One Emersyn had always liked. Her mom stared at the picture for several moments, stroking it softly with one finger before placing it back on the shelf.

The silence was painful, and Emersyn couldn't stand it any longer. "Um... are you hungry?" she asked, because she was desperate to fill the quiet with some noise.

"Oh, I'm... are you hungry?" her mom asked her, turning to look in her direction, away from the picture of her dead husband.

Emersyn shook her head. "No. I just had dinner at Kiel and Zeke's place a little while ago. But I can heat you up something. There's spaghetti in the fridge from a couple nights ago. It won't take long for me to reheat it."

"Oh, no thanks," her mom replied as she shook her head. "I'm not hungry either." She walked over to the couch and sat down, her eyes roaming the room as if they were searching for lost treasure. "It's weird being back here," she said, and Emersyn agreed. It was equally weird seeing her back here. "Who's Zeke?" she asked.

"He's working with Kiel," Emersyn answered, wondering if she should take a seat next to her mother or not. She thought about it for a moment and decided it was best to sit in the old rickety rocking chair in the corner of the room. Something about being in the presence of her mom was making her feel suffocated. She needed distance. "Living with him over the summer while he helps Kiel flip houses and fix up his rentals." She wondered if she should tell her mom she was dating Zeke, but then she thought better of it. Probably not the best way to start this conversation. Whatever it was going to be about.

"Kiel owns rentals now?" her mom asked, and she sounded surprised. As if she still expected him to be working on the ferry all those years later.

Emersyn nodded her head slowly. "Yeah, he's owned them for a long time. He's a landlord and a house flipper." This was so bizarre. She never thought she would see her mom in this house. Ever. And she wondered how many times she'd wished for this moment. Prayed in the middle of the night, alone in her bedroom, for her mom to come back to her. Not that her grandma wasn't enough. Because she was everything. But Emersyn had always longed to have her mother want to be part of her life. And so many times she'd dreamed Makayla Collins would come walking through the front door, ready to be her mother at last. But it never happened, and eventually she just gave up on having those prayers be answered. "So," she said as she fidgeted with a loose string on her shirt, "what brings you back to town?"

Her mom took a deep breath. Then she pulled a crinkled piece of paper out of her pocket. Emersyn recognized it immediately, having carried it around in her own pocket for a long time before finally deciding to send it off. "Actually, it was this. Your letter. It came in the mail not too long ago, and I wanted to respond."

"You could have just written a response back," Emersyn said, finally getting the string off her shirt and tossing it aside. "You didn't have to come all the way out here."

Her mom was quiet for a second as she slid the letter back in her pocket. "Yes, I did," she replied. "There's a lot we need to talk about that I couldn't say in a letter. Too much that needs to be said in person."

"Like... what?" she asked nervously.

Her mom gave her a sad smile. "Listen, I know you love it here, Emersyn. I understand. You grew up here. And it will always hold a special place in your heart. But I really think it would be best for you to come home now."

Emersyn didn't understand at first. "I am home," she said simply, blinking in confusion at her mom's words.

Her mom shook her head. "No. Back home in the city. With me. There's a lot we need to unpack, and I think it would be best for you if you came back home with me. We could go to therapy. Talk some of this out together. And then maybe we can discuss you going back to school."

She couldn't believe what she was hearing. After everything she'd written in her letter, her mom still didn't understand. "I'm not going back to the city," she replied, shaking her head again. Her voice came out more firm than she expected. Anger began to rise in her chest, and she did her best to maintain her composure. "Home is right here," she said, pointing to the ground beneath her feet. "In this house. In Coupeville. And college is not an option for me. I told you that before. I have no interest in going back."

Her mom heaved a heavy, frustrated sigh and rubbed her hands against her forehead. "Emersyn, I didn't come all this way to argue with you," she said, but there was a slight edge to her voice now as she slammed her hands against her black jeans. The two women glared at each other, each waiting for the fight from Emersyn's last night in the city to kick off again. Her mom took a deep, steadying breath. "You know what? It's late. I'm staying in a hotel in Oak Harbor, and I should probably get back. I just wanted to let you know I was in town, since you seemed to have little interest in answering my calls. But maybe we could do dinner tomorrow night? Talk about things? Calmly?"

Emersyn could think of a million things she'd rather do than have a sit-down dinner with her mom. But she couldn't deny that she was right. They really did need to talk about things. Despite what Emersyn wanted to believe, she really did need the closure. And she needed time to collect her thoughts beforehand. "Sure," she said, agreeing quickly before she had a chance to change her mind.

Her mom smiled, clearly pleased as the progress they were making. Emersyn didn't feel like they'd made any progress at all, but she gave her mom a tight smile back all the same. "Great. I made reservations for tomorrow night at six o'clock at Italyia for two. I hope that's okay?"

This did not sit well with Emersyn. It sounded like she had a choice, but in reality, she didn't. Her mom had planned the dinner before she'd even asked her if she wanted to go. Probably before she even stepped foot on the island. And she didn't even get a say in the restaurant. But she shook it off, deciding it would be best to pick her battles. Even though they seemed to be in an everlasting war. "Okay. Sure. Six o'clock. I'll... be there."

Her mom clapped her hands in front of her and jumped to her feet. "Great! Okay. I'll... see you tomorrow night then." She walked over to the front door but paused just in front of Emersyn. They stared at each other, and Emersyn didn't know if she should hug her mom goodbye or not. Her mom made a move like she was going to, but then she stepped back. "Have a good night." And she rushed out the door, leaving Emersyn behind again.

***

"Hey," Zeke said a couple hours later as she answered the phone, pressing it firmly to her tear stained cheek. "Sorry to bother you this late, but I was wondering if you could help me out tomorrow? There's a lot more on Kiel's to-do list than I originally thought, and I could use the extra set of hands if you'd be willing to help out? I mean, you don't have to, but it would give us a little more time in the day together if you did."

"Sure," Emersyn said, and she hated the way her voice sounded when she cried. Thick and nasally. Not at all like her normal voice.

There was a pause on the phone. And then he said, in a deeply concerned tone, "What's wrong? Are you okay?"

And that was it. She couldn't help herself. She burst into tears on the phone, crying like she hadn't done since the day she cried to him on the park bench outside the art museum. "Can you come over?" she asked, because she didn't want to talk to him about it over the phone. "I know it's late, but...."

"I'll be there in five minutes," he replied hurriedly, and he hung up before she could say another word. Emersyn tried to wash her face, but it was hopeless. The tears just kept coming, blotching her cheeks like someone splattered pink paint all over them. Five minutes later there was a knock on the front door, and when she answered he didn't say anything. He just slid his arms around her and let her cry into him, just like the last time.

She told him everything. She didn't know why it had bothered her so much to see her mom standing there. It just brought it all back to her. All the times she'd wished her mom would come back to that house, and she never did. Was it really that easy? Did it really just take a simple letter to bring her mom back to her? A wave of bitterness and anger rose up inside of her, and it was all mixed in with sadness and hurt. She was already dreading dinner the next night, and it hadn't been more than a few hours since her mom extended the invitation.

"I'm sorry," she said finally, wiping her tears with the back of her hand. "I feel like I'm overreacting. I just wasn't expecting to see her tonight, and then she was here."

"You have nothing to be sorry for," he said, stroking her hair. "I told you a long time ago that I would be here for you. And I meant it. Any time. I love you, Emersyn. You know that."

She nodded her head. "I know. Thank you. I love you too." She looked at the time. It was late and getting later by the minute. "Did Kiel leave already?" she asked through a sniffle.

Zeke nodded his head. "Yeah, he has a plane to catch early in the morning, so he booked a hotel room close to the airport in Seattle."

A thought popped into her head. "So no one is home? I mean... you're alone tonight?" He nodded his head, and she bit her lip. It was something she'd been thinking about for a while now. Ever since their first kiss, and if she was being totally honest with herself, maybe even before that. But she didn't want to have to explain anything to Kiel. He didn't know Zeke stayed over the night they flew the kite, as Zeke had somehow managed to sneak back in without Kiel ever realizing he was gone. So with Kiel being out of town.... "Do you want to maybe... stay over?"

Zeke tensed next to her, and she felt a blush rise in her cheeks, blending in with the blotchiness of her already pink face. "Just stay the night? Or...?"

She swallowed, suddenly feeling nervous and excited all at once. "I was thinking maybe... you know. Or? If you want to. I mean, if you don't, that's okay. No rush if you're not ready for that. No pressure or anything."

But she really wanted him to say yes. It was almost like she needed him to say yes. "Emersyn, I don't know. It's not like I don't want to. I mean, obviously I do. But I don't know if it would be a good idea tonight. I mean, with you being the way you are right now, I just don't want to feel like I'm taking advantage of you when you're really emotional, you know?"

She looked up and kissed him, and it was deep and hard, because she wanted him to know that it was okay. Yes, she was emotional. Yes, things had happened she hadn't expected, and she was feeling so many things all at once. But this was something she'd wanted for a long time. He kissed her back, and every time he tried to pull away, she pulled him closer. Until finally he was pushing against her on the couch, covering her with his whole body.

"Are you sure?" he whispered into their kiss, and she nodded fervently. And that was all the confirmation he needed. He pulled his shirt off with one hand, tossing it to the side, and held her face to him with the other one. His lips moved hungrily against hers before sliding down to her jaw. Her chin. Her neck. And then he pulled away, his eyes dark with that same shadow of desire she'd seen several times before. "Let's take this to your room," he said breathlessly, and she nodded her head in agreement.

He scooped her up in his arms and carried her to her bedroom, placing her gently on her bed before continuing where he left off in the living room. They spent the rest of the night tangled up in each other, not wasting a minute of their time together. And he was the best distraction. The only thing that could take away the pain she'd felt earlier in the night. The scars caused by years of abandonment faded as he kissed her, and his heavy eyes healed the wounds of her heart like magic. They each gave all they had to give, and when they were completely spent, they fell asleep together, his arms wrapped around her. And despite the fact that she had tomorrow's nerve-wracking dinner looming over her head, she slept better than she had in a really long time. Because she was sleeping with him.

Chapter Thirty-One

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