She woke up in the morning to the sound of light snoring beside her and was a little confused to find Zeke's arm around her waist, holding her close. Then she remembered what they'd done the night before, and she smiled, turning over carefully so she could look at him. He seemed so peaceful in his sleep. His face was pressed into the pillow, his arm resting under his head, and his mouth was hanging open ever so slightly. There was a little drool on the pillow, but she wouldn't hold that against him. In fact, she thought it was really cute. She stroked his bouncy blonde curls lightly, remembering how she'd twisted her fingers in his hair the night before. She half expected him to make some sort of movement at her touch. But he didn't. He must've been in a deep sleep. Or else he just slept really hard. She didn't know. It was the first time she'd ever slept with him.

After a few minutes, she got up quietly and threw on a t-shirt and a pair of ripped up shorts, then went into the kitchen to take stock of what she had. There were eggs and some pancake mix, and even a little bit of orange juice left in the fridge. Her stomach growled with hunger, so she decided to start cooking breakfast even though he wasn't awake yet. She grabbed her phone and put some music on, and then she got to work. She was worried at first that the music might wake him, but he slept right through the sound.

She checked the time and saw it was only eight in the morning. And a feeling of dread washed over her as she remembered that, in less than twelve hours, she would be having a very uncomfortable dinner with her mother. What would she tell her? Should she bring up the journal? Was there even a point? The affair had happened so long ago. And it wasn't like her mom had kept the relationship with Ed going. Unless he was the reason why she left the island. Somehow, Emersyn doubted that. Someone would've found out her dirty little secret if that had been the case. So the affair ended at some point before her dad died. She just wondered when. And more than that, she wondered if she even wanted to know the truth.

Her mom said they had things they had to unpack. Things that had to be discussed in person. She wasn't wrong, Emersyn thought, as she poured the pancake batter into the buttered pan, enjoying the sizzling sound it made. There was a lot to unpack. Twelve years of trauma caused by abandonment. Tack on another four years of feeling like an inadequate daughter. And then there was that horrible argument. Those ugly words shared between the two of them in the heat of the moment. Words she'd tried so hard to forget since returning to the island, and yet somehow they still tortured her. Haunting her in the middle of the night as she tried to sleep.

Was there any hope that their relationship could be fixed? Emersyn considered this as she flipped a pancake. She wanted to believe it was possible, but she didn't have much faith in her mom. After all, hadn't she already tried to convince her to return to the city and go back to school? Emersyn sighed heavily, shaking her head at nobody but herself. Her mother just didn't get her at all. And she seriously doubted she ever would. So what was the point of this dinner? And what would she do if they broke out into another argument?

Leave, she told herself. Get up and leave the restaurant. Don't let there be a scene. If things start to turn ugly, then move on. No more letters. That would be it. It may not be the closure she wanted, but it was closure. And no matter what, she knew somehow she would have her closure at dinner. Whichever way it went. There were so many different directions their talk could go, and she just couldn't see any of them heading in the right one. Her heart thumped loudly in her chest as she checked the time again. She'd already been up for almost an hour. Time was moving so fast, and she knew the day would fly by. Because that was how time worked. If you were dreading something, it moved faster and without apology. So rude.

She heard footsteps behind her as she began dishing up the pancakes and eggs she'd cooked up, and she smiled, allowing all thoughts of her mom and the impending dinner to fade from her mind. "Hey," she said as he stumbled into the room and plopped down lazily at her small kitchen table. "Good morning. I, um... I made us breakfast."

"Thanks," he muttered, as he stifled a yawn with his fist. She looked up and smiled at him, but then frowned quickly when she saw how pale he looked. He'd slept hard, but the circles under his eyes were so dark they looked like bruises. And he just didn't look like himself. He looked wilted again, like he often did on Tuesdays when he'd come back from the city. Like he did that day at the beach with Avery and Axel when he told her he thought he just had a bug.

She handed him a glass of orange juice and asked slowly, "Are you feeling okay?"

He stared down at the plate full of food like it was something foreign to him. Like he'd never seen a plate of pancakes and eggs in his life. "Huh? Yeah. I'm... yeah. I'm okay. I'm just really tired today."

Her frown deepened as she sat across from him at the table, her own plate sitting in front of her. She poured syrup on her pancakes before taking a small bite. "Maybe you're coming down with something again?" she asked as she swallowed her food, studying him like he was a newfound creature in the Amazon Rainforest.

He shrugged his shoulders, but they barely raised an inch. "Maybe." Then he looked up at her and gave her a tight smile that should've sent the butterflies in her stomach going haywire, but just filled her with more concern instead. "Thank you for cooking. Sorry I was such a lazy bum this morning."

"No, it's okay," she replied as she shook her head quickly. "I just woke up early and thought breakfast sounded nice."

And to her it did sound nice. But he was barely eating at all, pushing the eggs around his plate with his fork and leaving the pancakes untouched completely. "It is nice. And last night was also... nice." She smiled at him, but she was still worried that he wasn't eating. "I'm not really used to this, you know? I don't know what to say."

"Not used to what?" she asked, a playful smile tugging at her lips. "Having breakfast, or having sex?"

He laughed, but it wasn't like his normal laugh. It was quieter. Less jovial. Less him. What the heck was wrong with him? "I was definitely talking about the sex. I'm sorry if I passed out on you last night. I think the day just got the best of me."

She couldn't remember him passing out last night, so she thought they must've fallen asleep together. "It's fine. I actually had a really great time with you last night. We should do it again sometime. When you feel better." She winked at him flirtatiously, hoping her words would boost his spirits.

But they didn't. He just nodded his head and started picking at his food more, taking small bites here and there but leaving most of it on the plate. "So are you nervous about dinner with your mom tonight?" he asked.

Mention of her mom always made her feel like someone had dumped a bucket of ice over her head. She sucked in a breath and let it out slowly, rubbing her hands against her torn up shorts. "Yeah, I guess I am. I don't know. Being around her is hard, because I don't know how to act. Should I be myself, or should I be the person she wants me to be? And what should I say? Will anything I say actually change anything? Is it even worth it?"

"Just be yourself, Em," he answered simply, and she looked down at her plate of food. He reached forward and took her hand in his, giving it a gentle squeeze. Her eyes flitted back up to him, and for a moment he resembled the Zeke she was so used to. The healthy one. The happy one. "Seriously. If she doesn't like the person you really are, then she doesn't deserve to be part of your life. Oh, and by the way, thanks for agreeing to help me today. With Kiel being gone, I could really use the extra set of hands."

"Sure," she said, grinning at him as he released her hand and began picking at his food again. "Actually, now you mention it, I should get ready. Can't work in an old t-shirt and ripped up shorts now, can I?"

"I wouldn't mind," he said teasingly, and she felt the heat rising in her cheeks. She walked to her room to get changed, giving him a quick kiss as she did. And when she came back, he was rinsing off their plates in the sink. She wasn't sure if he'd eaten all his breakfast, but she thought he did look a little better. Maybe a tiny bit less pale, although that could've been wishful thinking. It was hard to tell. They left her house together and went back to his and Kiel's place, where he got ready for the day as well. Then they drove Emersyn's car to the house where they would be working for most of the day.

When she walked in, she could see immediately why Zeke needed the help. According to Kiel's list of things he wanted Zeke to get done while he was gone, the living room needed to be split up into two rooms. And she could understand why. It was huge. Probably took up half the house. There was definitely space for a study or another bedroom. The garage held all the materials they needed, as Kiel and Zeke had prepped the project the day before. Now all they had to do was put it all together. Emersyn had helped Kiel with his work a little bit over the years, but overall, she was clueless as to what to do. So she knew she would be relying on Zeke to give her instructions.

But as the day went on, she noticed Zeke just didn't seem to be himself. He was short with her, and snapped at little things she did wrong. It was so strange. He was usually so patient and kind, but today he was just off. Once he even heaved a sigh of frustration when he had to find a tool himself, because she didn't know what he was asking for. But even though Emersyn felt like she should've been hurt by the way he was treating her, she was more concerned about his physical well-being. His skin was super pale, almost green, and there was so much sweat on his forehead that she wondered if he was running a fever. At around noon, she left the house to grab them a couple sandwiches at a local deli, but he only took a couple bites of his before putting it away. He told her that he'd eat it later, but something in her gut said he was lying.

As the afternoon went on, she began feeling a sensation of dread in the pit of her stomach. She kept thinking about her mom and their dinner date, and how much she was not looking forward to it. At one point she snuck off and called Kiel, hoping to get some advice. But her call went to voicemail. She assumed he had probably forgotten to turn off airplane mode on his phone. Jeeze, how could everything in her life flip upside down in less than a day? And when Kiel wasn't around to talk her down. Sighing, she slid her phone back in her pocket and went inside to help Zeke, who had finished nailing the boards he'd brought in earlier and was about to go into the garage to grab some more.

When he came back in from the garage, she looked up at him and almost cried out from shock. He looked so green, and his eyes were so glazed. She shuddered as she realized what exactly he resembled: A corpse. "Are you sure you're okay?" she asked him, feeling the bubble of concern about to pop inside her as she stared at him.

He blinked at her, and even his light blue eyes seemed a little out of focus. "Wha-? Yeah. I'm... I'm go...." And then his eyes rolled back into his head, and he collapsed on the ground, the boards dropping hard onto his splayed-out arms.

"Oh my God," she said as she rushed to him, throwing herself on the ground beside him. "Zeke? Zeke!" She turned him over to look at his face, but he was completely unconscious. Blood was oozing out of his nose, and she could feel how soaked through his clothes were with sweat. Touching a finger to his throat, she felt for a pulse. It was there, but it was light. Panicked and shaking, she reached into her pocket and pulled out her phone again, dialing 911 with quivering fingers.

The operator picked up on the second ring. "911, what's your emergency?" It was a man's voice. Calm and cool. The exact opposite of how she was feeling.

"Hi, my name is Emersyn," she said, trying to keep it together as she stared at the broken rag doll that was her boyfriend on the floor. "Please send an ambulance. My boyfriend. He just passed out, and his nose is bleeding. He's not waking up." She wanted to tell him that his pulse was light, but she didn't want to freak herself out. It was crucial that she remain calm enough to get Zeke the help he so obviously needed at that moment.

She gave the operator an address, and he gave her instructions on what to do. But she felt useless, and she kept praying to God that Zeke would open his eyes. That he would wake up and start laughing, telling her he was fine. It was just a touch of heat exhaustion. No big deal. But he wasn't opening his eyes, and he clearly wasn't okay. The EMTs got there just a few minutes later, and after a rushed evaluation, they hoisted him up onto a stretcher and rolled him into the ambulance. She wasn't sure what the rules were, or if she should get in with them or not, but they closed the doors before she could decide, leaving her standing in the driveway scared out of her mind.

With shaking fingers, she pulled her phone back out of her pocket and tried to call Kiel again. But when the call went to voicemail, she pulled up the texting app and sent him a message. "Zeke's really sick. He's on his way to the hospital via ambulance. CALL ME ASAP." She hit send and waited, hoping he'd call her back immediately. But he didn't call, and Emersyn was left feeling hopeless and wishing she'd hopped into the ambulance when she'd had the chance. She rushed to her car and, not sure if she should be driving or not, began heading to the hospital, her mind racing with nothing but the worst possible scenarios. And as she pulled into the hospital parking lot, she remembered the dinner date she had with her mom for later in the evening.

She pulled her phone out of her pocket again and made another call. It took two rings for Makayla to answer. "Mom," she said thickly, tears sliding down her blotchy cheeks. "Mom, I'm sorry. But I'm not going to be able to make dinner tonight."

Chapter Thirty-Two

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