"Dear Makayla," she said out loud, pen in her hand. Then she made a face and crumpled up the paper, throwing it into the waste basket next to her. "Dear Mom," she wrote again, and it felt weird to say out loud. She'd been calling her mom by her first name for so long, but maybe this was the first step to forgiveness. Recognizing her as what she was. Her mom. She stopped writing for a moment, not quite sure what to say. She stared at the blank sheet of paper for a little while, trying to think of a way to put what she was feeling onto it. But time was running out. She only had a few minutes until Zeke got to her house, and she didn't want to put herself in a bad mood. So she set the paper aside and promised herself she'd finish it when she got back.

She hadn't seen Zeke since that night in her studio, but when she'd asked him to come with her to the Fourth of July Festival in town, he'd quickly agreed. She was wearing a red, white, and blue summer dress to honor the day, and her hair was pulled back in a long braid to help keep it out of her face. It was supposed to be really hot, so she'd packed several bottles of water and a few cooling clothes just in case.

As usual, Zeke knocked on her door right on time. Her heart jumped in her throat as she answered the door and saw him wearing a pair of khaki shorts and a t-shirt patterned with red, white, and blue stars. He smiled when he saw her, but it was different than normal. Almost as if he was nervous. "Look at that. We match."

She grinned and closed the door behind her. "What a coincidence. It's almost like wearing red, white, and blue is a requirement for this day in our country."

He laughed, and she felt like her blood was buzzing. Then he moved closer to her and gently kissed her on the lips. She closed her eyes, hoping it would last longer than it actually did. He never kissed her for long enough. "You ready to go?"

"I'm ready as I'll ever be," she replied, and he took her hand in his. They walked together hand in hand, and it was like that day in Port Townsend. But so much better, because now he wasn't pulling away. They talked for a while, ignoring the big topic until they couldn't anymore. Until it was the only thing left for them to talk about. "So how have you been doing?" she asked, hoping he'd realize she was talking about the DNA test results.

He shrugged his shoulders. "Better, I guess. I visited Sal yesterday. Spent some time in the bakery. He still wants to hang out, you know. Even if we aren't... family." She could hear how much it still hurt him, knowing Sal wasn't the answer he was looking for.

"You know, I've been thinking about that," she said. "There's no reason we can't keep looking. I've been doing some more research on names we haven't looked up yet, and there are a few more possibilities."

He was silent for a few seconds. And then he sighed and shook his head. "Actually, I think... I think I'm tired of spending all my time in a graveyard."

This was not what she was expecting to hear. "What do you mean? Don't you still want to find your family?"

"Of course," he replied, nodding his head. "That's why I came here. But after what happened before... well, I don't think I'm ready to look again. I don't know if I'm ever going to be ready. And besides, it's like you said, right? I have you and Kiel. And you guys are the best family I could've ever asked for."

She wrinkled her nose. "So what does that make us? Cousins now?"

"Only the kissing kind," he replied, and she groaned and made a face. He laughed. "I really appreciate all the work you put in this summer to help me. I just want to enjoy the rest of it. Spend time with you. I mean, there's still a lot more of Port Townsend to see. And I've barely touched the surface of Coupeville and Oak Harbor."

She frowned, unsure of exactly what he was saying. "So you just want to give up?"

He sighed heavily and ran his fingers through his blond curls. "No. Yes? I'm just tired of wasting time. Maybe at the end of the summer we can try again. But I could use a break." She knew this was a lie, because he'd already told her he was planning on leaving at the end of the summer. But she didn't push it. If he was done looking for his family, then it wasn't her place to force him.

"As long as you aren't giving up on me," she said, feeling the worry creeping up in her heart.

He stopped walking and pulled her close to him. She was looking at the ground, but he lifted her up with his finger, forcing her to look at him. He pressed his lips against hers, this time harder. She deepened the kiss, and he held her head in his hands. When he finally pulled away, she felt dazed. But he was just smiling. "I never want to give up on you, Emersyn Collins. Ever. I know we haven't talked about the other night. But I meant everything I said. I'm in love with you. You are the only one I want to spend my time with."

Her eyes filled with tears, not just because of what he'd said, but also with what she was dealing with in her own family. She'd never really believed it was possible to be loved like this, because she hadn't experienced it with the one person who was supposed to love her unconditionally. He wiped away a tear as it slid down her cheek. "Sorry. I'm not crying because of that. I love you too. I just... had a hard day yesterday, and it's still eating at me. And all this stuff about your dad... well, yesterday was my dad's birthday."

He nodded his head. "Yeah, Kiel said something about that. But he didn't really seem up to talking about it." He paused, pushing a loose strand of her hair back behind her ear. "Do you want to talk about it? I'm here for you, Em. Whatever you need from me, I'm here."

"It just... brought up a lot of stuff about Ma... my mom," she said, stopping herself before she called her mom by her name. "You've been searching for a relationship with a family you've never known. And my mom knows me. She knows where I am. She always has. But she never tried to be with me. We didn't talk until I was fifteen and my grandma got sick. And so I always wondered if she even cared, you know? I never thought I was really deserving of love, because my mom couldn't love me. And then you come along, and you're everything I've ever wanted and more. And you say you love me. How is it possible for you to love me when she couldn't?"

He was silent the whole time she was talking, and she couldn't believe she was crying on the Fourth of July like this. She'd been hoping she could put the events of the day before behind her, but she couldn't stop thinking about it. "I don't have an answer for you," he said when she stopped talking. "I mean, I haven't met your mom. But I can tell you how it's possible for me to love you like I do." She bit her lip, waiting for whatever he was about to say. "Emersyn, you are so selfless. You didn't even know me, and yet you offered to help me find my dad in a graveyard. You spent half your summer scrubbing gravestones for me. A total stranger. You have the best relationship with Kiel, who I've come to really admire. And you are, without a doubt, the most beautiful, sexiest woman I've ever met in my life."

A blush rose in her cheeks, and she smiled through her tears. "You don't think I'm a little cooky?" she asked, half-teasing.

He smiled and shook his head. "Not in the least bit. I love it all. Oh, and by the way, I think you're so talented. The most talented person I've ever met. The gravestones... I know this might sound crazy, but have you thought about calling that art museum in Port Townsend to see if they'd buy them off you? Because I really think they're something special."

She made another face. "I don't know about all that."

"Well, I do," he replied. "They're great. And I'm not saying I know everything there is to know about art. But the way you blend symbols of life and love with loss and death. They're so beautiful. They really remind me of your grandma's painting. Just a different version of Hello, Goodbye."

She hadn't considered that. But he was kind of right. Her paintings were a combination of life and death. That's exactly how she saw them. And she loved that he saw them the same way. "Hello, Goodbye was one of my grandma's best pieces ever," she said. "I don't know if they can compare."

"They can," he said as he rubbed his thumb against her knuckles. "You're being too modest. They're incredible. And I bet, if you made some calls, and if you showed them to other people, you'd see I'm not the only one who thinks so."

She hadn't considered this before, but maybe he was right. And if she did sell the paintings to the museum, she might be able to replace the money from the estate she'd spent over the summer. It wasn't a bad idea. She just wasn't sure if they were good enough. If she was good enough. "I'll think about it," she said, and she really would. She would just add it to the list of all the other things she had to think about.

They met up with Axel and Avery at the parade, and she was not surprised to see them not wearing any red, white, and blue. Avery was wearing her usual all black, which she thought was insane considering it was supposed to hit a hundred degrees outside. And Axel was just dressed in his normal jeans and old t-shirt, his guitar strapped to his back.

"Jeeze, Em," Avery said, as she looked Emersyn up and down, "you sure dressed up for the occasion. Could you be any more patriotic?"

"Well, it is America's birthday," Zeke said, putting his arm around Emersyn's shoulders proudly.

"And you know, this whole edgy girl vibe isn't really going to work when you're standing in front of a class of thirty kids teaching English Lit," Emersyn said, smirking.

Axel laughed. "You should see her student teaching outfit. She looks so normal I could puke." He put his finger in his throat and gagged. Avery flipped him off, and Axel gasped. "Now, now, now. That's not how a teacher is supposed to behave. Careful, or I might have to report you to the principal."

"Oh fuck off," Avery said, then she turned her attention back to Emersyn and Zeke before her brother could say another word. "Glad to see you two finally stopped being stupid and got together."

Zeke smiled. "I know, right. Took us long enough." He turned to Emersyn and planted a big kiss on her cheek, making her blush. The four of them sat down on the sidewalk and waited for the parade to start. "So Em said something about a festival?"

"Yeah," Axel said, pulling out a water bottle that Emersyn was sure wasn't filled with water. "There's a street fair and some rides. The ferris wheel can be fun. Even romantic." He winked at Zeke, and Emersyn rolled her eyes.

The parade started, and even though Emersyn had seen the parade floats a million times in her life, she still loved the excited look on Zeke's face as the cars passed by. This was a small-town parade, so it usually just had business floats and firetrucks and military members. But he was so happy, and she wondered if he'd ever been to a parade before. She wanted to ask him, but his joy was contagious, and before she knew it, she was cheering right along with him.

When the parade ended, they went to the street fair and bought some hotdogs. Because, as her grandpa used to say, it was un-American to not eat a hotdog on the Fourth of July. They played some carnival games. Zeke tried to win her a giant stuffed monkey, but only ended up with a little turtle. Still, she loved it, and she carried it around with her the rest of the day. When night fell, they tried to get a good spot for the fireworks. Avery and Axel left them alone a long time ago. Axel found a date, and Avery had work in the morning. It kind of made Emersyn miss the old times, when they were kids and didn't care so much about romance and responsibilities. The fireworks started, and it brought back so many great memories. And as they lit up the night sky, Emersyn thought she saw Zeke tear up beside her.

"Are you okay?" she asked him, worried something was wrong.

He rubbed at his eye. "Yeah. I'm great. Better than great." He stared up at the sky, and it was so loud that no one else could hear him but her. "I've never been as happy as I am right now," he said, and she smiled. "I love you."

"I love you too," she replied, and the fireworks went forgotten as she pulled his face down to hers and kissed him. It was an amazing experience, feeling fireworks inside her stomach as real ones exploded all around them. People everywhere were cheering and applauding, but no one seemed to notice the young couple making out in the back. They left the firework show early to go back to her house. And Emersyn found that she didn't miss them all that much. Zeke's mouth on hers was really all she wanted anyway.

Chapter Twenty-Seven

0 Comments