This time she wasn't brokenhearted by Zeke's rejection. She was furious. For months, all he'd done was say he wanted to protect her from getting hurt by him, and yet he continued to hurt her by pushing her away. She was so tired of playing this game. On and off, hot and cold. It was exhausting, and she loved being with him, but it was past the point of hurting. Now it was just cruel. But a couple days later, while she was hanging out with Avery at the house on one of her days off, Zeke sent her a text. She hoped the text would have some kind of explanation about what happened in her studio, but nothing. He just wanted to know if she wanted to meet up when he got off work.

She shook her head and slid her phone into her pocket, choosing not to answer. "Everything okay?" Avery asked suspiciously.

Emersyn shook her head. "Yeah, it's fine. I'm fine."

They were having a much-needed girl's day. Axel was at work and then he had plans with the girl he'd left with the night of the bonfire. Her name was Nancy, and Avery was not a fan. But she never liked any of her brother's girlfriends. Emersyn once told her that she was one of those weird sisters who felt that no one was good enough for her brother, and she hadn't even bothered trying to deny it. Her brother was her best friend, and in Avery's eyes he was the best man in the world. Which, Emersyn knew, was far from the truth. Axel was great, but he was far from perfect. Not that she really knew what the perfect man looked like.

"Bullshit," Avery said after a sip of water. "I can tell. Something's wrong. Who texted you just now?"

"Kiel," she replied, lying. Avery made a face, and Emersyn let out a long sigh. "Fine. It was Zeke. He asked me if I wanted to get together with him when he got off work."

"Nice," Avery said, reaching for a chip from the open bag sitting on the coffee table. "What are you guys going to do?"

She shrugged. "We're not going to do anything." Avery raised her eyebrows. "I don't know. I'm taking some time away from him to think. That's all."

She scrunched up her face. "What are you talking about? Zeke is hot. Go for it! What's there to think about?"

Emersyn did not like hearing that Avery thought Zeke was hot. Something about it bothered her deep in her core. But she let it roll off her shoulders, knowing her friend didn't mean anything by it. "Yeah, but he keeps sending me these mixed signals, you know? Like one second, he's all into me, and the next he's completely shutting me down. Talking about not wanting to hurt me or whatever crap excuse he has at the time. It's pissing me off. Honestly, I'm starting to feel played with. So I just need time to think."

"Oh my God," Avery said, rolling her eyes. "You can't be serious." Emersyn widened her eyes, and Avery scoffed. "You always were so dumb when it came to guys. Remember that time Drake Douglas asked if you wanted to hang out with him at the bonfire and you invited us? And he got upset because you invited us on your date, and you didn't know it was a date?"

Emersyn laughed and shook her head. "This is not one of those times," she said.

"Yes it is! I can tell by the way Zeke looks at you that he likes you. He may even love you." Her stomach flipped at the idea, and she hated herself for it. "Don't be an idiot."

Emersyn groaned and slammed her head back against the couch cushion. "You know, I asked Kiel about this yesterday too. And he said pretty much the same exact thing. But what I don't understand is why fight it? If he really feels that way about me, then why is he pushing me away like this?"

"Doesn't sound like he's pushing you away," she replied, as she spread her legs out on Emersyn's lap. "I mean, he just asked you to hang out with him after work. That sounds like he's pulling you closer."

She wanted to tell Avery about that day in her art studio. About how he'd looked at all her paintings with awe, and then practically stormed out without giving her a real reason other than he didn't want to hurt her. She'd been devastated that night, not knowing what she did wrong. If she'd done anything wrong at all. Why did he have to be so confusing? It was like every time she felt herself falling for him, he'd straighten her back out. It was maddening, and she was getting sick of it.

"Can we please just drop it?" Emersyn asked. She could feel herself getting more frustrated the longer the conversation went on. "This is supposed to be a girl's day, and we're just talking about guys."

"And guys are the literal worst," Avery said with a nod. "Okay fine, we can drop the subject of Zeke for now." She slid her legs off of Emersyn and jumped to her feet. "I'm dying for a quesadilla. Come on, let's go to La Cocina."

Emersyn agreed to go, but she was in a bit of a bad mood. The unanswered text from Zeke was like a dark cloud hanging above her on an otherwise sunny day. She just kept going back to the conversation she'd had with Kiel the day before. They'd gone on a walk to discuss how they were going to celebrate her dad's birthday in a few days, and he could tell that something was bothering her. So she told him what had happened in the studio, and how she was more confused than ever. Kiel had basically said the same thing Avery had. Zeke was secretly crazy about her, and she was being ridiculous. But every time he pushed her away, it hurt even more. There was only so much she could take before she gave up. And she was right on that line.

She spent the rest of the day with Avery trying to act like nothing was wrong when everything was. As angry as she felt, she couldn't deny that there was a piece of her that felt heartbroken too. She wanted to be with Zeke so badly. She wanted it to be simple. But he just kept complicating it. Avery finally left at ten o'clock. Emersyn had asked her if she wanted to stay over, but she said she had a big test in the morning and wanted to get enough sleep. She wouldn't admit it, but Emersyn was kind of glad Avery didn't want to stay over. She just wanted to be alone for a while. She needed time to think.

It was late, and her brain felt like a fidget spinner going around and around, faster and faster. She thought about painting, but her mind wouldn't stop going. So finally she decided to take a hot bath. It had been so long since she'd taken a nice bath. Probably not since before she'd left for college. She turned the hot almost all the way up, stripped off her clothes and tossed them next to Zeke's bloody shirt that she hadn't picked up yet, and slid into the tub. The water felt like heaven, and she knew immediately it was just what the doctor ordered.

The heat felt like a blanket against her bare skin, and just as she was finally starting to feel fully relaxed, her phone rang. She picked it up off the bathroom counter and saw Zeke's name lighting up her screen. She rolled her eyes. So much for relaxing. She stared at it for a few seconds, debating on what to do. And just as the call was about to go to voicemail, she pressed the answer button.

"Hello?" she asked, putting the phone on speaker so she didn't have to get her screen wet.

There was a brief pause on the other end, and for a second she thought he had pocket dialed her. But then he said, in a slightly breathless voice, "Hey. Can we talk?"

"I don't know, Zeke," she replied, feeling a spark of anger rise in her chest like the spark that popped out when unplugging something from an electrical socket. Brief but dangerous. "I honestly don't know what to talk about with you."

"I know you're upset," he said, and she could hear a note of desperation in his voice. "And I know things got crazy the other day in your art studio. I wanted to apologize for that. I've had some time to think, and I know I probably acted like an insane person."

She nodded, even though he couldn't see her. "Yes. You did. Why were you even in the studio anyway?"

"You weren't in the living room or the kitchen, so I thought that's where you'd be," he answered simply. "Honestly, I don't know. I was a little dizzy and wasn't thinking all that clearly."

That made sense, which frustrated her more. She was so angry that she wasn't sure she wanted anything he said to make sense. "What the hell happened to you in there? Why did you run away like that?"

"Why do you sound all echoey?" he asked.

"I'm in the bath," she answered. "Don't change the subject, Zeke. You called me. You wanted to talk. So talk."

"Right," he said. "I'm so sorry for the other day. I really am. The truth is, I have never had a friend like you before, Emersyn. I've only known you for a few months, but you're my best friend. And I'm so afraid of screwing it up. The friendship, I mean. I don't want to hurt you."

She shook her head. "I'm starting to get really sick of hearing that excuse," she growled into the phone.

"I know," he groaned. "I'm sorry. I really am. I just... I don't know how long I'm going to be here. And I don't want to have to go and leave you behind. I think about it all the time, and it really scares me. But I miss you. And I'm sorry. Can we please just be friends again? Please?"

She considered this for a second. "Okay well," she said, thinking of the pouty face he'd given her in the car the other day as he tried to get more information out of her about her friends and their theories. "I guess. But you owe me. Tomorrow. Ice cream. MY TREAT. Or no dice."

He laughed into the phone, and she hated how his laugh made her feel. It was like a weight had lifted off her shoulders and suddenly she could fly. "Okay fine, but I'm only ordering a frozen lemonade. Which is just a couple dollars."

She rolled her eyes, but she was smiling now. "Fine. Tomorrow. Meet me at the house at noon, okay?"

"Noon," he repeated, and she could hear the smile in his voice too. "Okay. Goodnight, Emersyn."

She felt a tickle in her stomach every time he said her name, and this time was no different. No one had ever had this much of an effect on her. She still wasn't sure if she liked it or not, especially considering there was no way he was ever going to feel the same way about her as she did about him. She sighed, exasperated, and said into the phone, "Good night, Zeke."

Chapter Twenty-Four

0 Comments