We stay in California for nearly two weeks, as the band ends up performing in San Diego as well as Los Angeles. I'm definitely enjoying the gorgeous weather in California and Dad even takes a day off, when he and I go to the beach.

It's just him and me and I absolutely love that. There's no crazy, screaming fans, clamoring for autographs or selfies. No teenage groupies trying to sneak into Dad's hotel room. (Yes, that actually happened. Twice. It scared the shit out of me.) His band mates aren't even along and ever since that crazy incident involving Adrian, I'm rather glad.

Dad has been extra protective of me since that day as well, making sure to shelter me from any uncouth shit. Like he's afraid he's offended me too much already and he can't bear to do it again or maybe I'll be on the next flight to London.

We're walking in our bare feet, on the wet sand as it oozes between my toes, the tide rolling in and out, lapping at our feet, as seagulls fly high overhead, cawing as they circle around, searching for fish. There's a strong wind blowing, tousling our hair and whipping our clothes around. It's very peaceful.

"This is wonderful, Dad," I say tipping my head back and looking up into the blue, blue sky and watching as the seagulls swoop down, grabbing fish with their beaks.

"I'm pleased." Dad has been in a pensive mood since this morning and I suppose he's struggling with having to give up his "fun" just to hang out with me all day.

"Dad, are you upset about something?"

"No way, doll. I'm happy to just be spending some quality time with my baby."

"Are you? You don't seem to be having a good time."

"Are you always this perceptive?" Dad teases and I laugh. I take his arm and we walk slowly. I can feel the heat of his skin on mine and it's comforting.

"I guess growing up the way I have, just me and Mum, I've probably spent too much time alone and I start thinking stuff."

"I'm sorry, baby girl." Dad kisses the top of my head and I smile. I love how he's not afraid to show his affection towards me.

"No need to apologize," I say. "I was just explaining why I'm the way I am. And you didn't answer my question."

"I'm having a fabulous time, Rory. I'm with the only person I love the most in the world."

"I thought you loved music the most," I tease and Dad laughs.

"Music has always been an escape for me," Dad says. "Ever since I was a kid, music was important to me. Music is universal. You can reach so many people that way."

"Was your life bad?" I ask, realizing I know nothing about my dad's childhood. Whenever I asked Mum if she knew anything, she'd always say she didn't.

"Not really." Dad looks out into the horizon. From where we're standing, it feels like it's the edge of the world.

"My parents divorced when I was a teenager. My mother had...insecurities about herself. I think my dad just got tired of listening to her constantly complain about herself in this way or that. But he was still a part of my life. Until he died, about fifteen years ago. You probably don't remember him."

I shake my head. No. I don't have any memories of my grandfather. I would have only been a year old when he died. It's sad that I don't remember.

"What about your mum?" I asked. Dad doesn't reply and so I drop the subject. I don't want to push him into something and we end up fighting again.

"Do you have any siblings?" I ask.

"An older sister. She's busy with her own life. She'd love to meet you sometime though. She lives in Texas and is married, with two girls of her own."

"Cool." It's odd to know that I have family that I've never met and know absolutely nothing about. Most of Mum's family is gone, with the exception of her younger sister, who isn't married.

"Should we try and find something to eat?" Dad asks. "Are you hungry?"

"Sure. That sounds good." I notice a small shack just ahead and can smell a hint of something frying in the air. Dad and I make our way over and order some cheeseburgers and chocolate milkshakes before finding a place to sit down and enjoy our meal.

"This has been one of the best days, Dad. I'm happy we had an opportunity to just hang out away from everybody."

"Me too, doll. Me too."

***

Once we leave California, we head for Seattle Washington for a couple of days. The weather here isn't as nice as in California but I still enjoy it. Washington State is a pretty place.

When Coco isn't busy practicing for the concerts or trying to write new songs, she's teaching me how to play the electric guitar. It's exciting just spending time with her, one on one and we're growing closer every day.

"You're picking up well on learning how to play the electric guitar," Coco praises me one day and I blush to the roots of my hair.

"Thanks. I'm enjoying it. I appreciate you taking the time to teach me."

"It's my pleasure. Especially with someone as pretty as you." I laugh, my cheeks burning from embarrassment. It's nice to be complimented by the one person I'm falling for.

"I bet you say that to all the girls," I joke and Coco laughs, putting her forehead against mine. We gaze into each other's eyes for several seconds.

"Nah. Only the ones I'm smitten with."

I shake my head and chuckle, strumming some of the chords on the guitar, making a wailing riff. I the play the chords again, loving the sound. It's so beautiful and rich, calling to me in a way I can't describe.

"Things seem good between you and your dad," Coco says.

"He's trying. I know it's hard for him, having me here. He probably feels like he has to be on good behavior all day."

"At least he invited you, Rory. And he loves you. Even if it's difficult for him to say so."

"Actions speak louder than words," I say. "He's not afraid to show me love." I pause, puffing out my cheeks.

"I'm just unsure of his motives. I know Dad loves me. I'm just a little confused if he only has me here so he can use it as a weapon against Mum."

"Just ask him," Coco says. I roll my eyes.

"Geez, why didn't I think of that?" I say sarcastically.

"What have you got to lose?" Coco's gaze is boring into mine and I look at the guitar in my hands, strumming a fre chords, just feeling the vibrations.

"I'm not asking him," I say stubbornly. "It'll only screw things up worse."

Coco sighs but doesn't press any further. I think she knows it's pointless to try and convince me otherwise. I lean the guitar against the settee I'm sitting on and rest my elbows on my knees, wondering what Dad is doing. He'd left about three hours ago and to my knowledge, hasn't returned.

I abruptly stand, and head for Dad's room. As soon as I reach it, I hear some strange noises coming from there. I frown, grabbing the knob and twisting it, pulling the door open. An awful sight greets me.

Dad is slumped the floor, his face deathly white, his mouth slightly agape, white powder crusted around his mouth. I scream, rushing forward and screaming out Dad until Coco joins me, grabbing her phone and calling for an ambulance.

Tears flow from my eyes as I cling to one of Dad's hands, which are ice cold, my body shaking and my heart pounding wildly in my chest.

"Oh, Dad! Please be all right! Please!"

***

Warning this part talks about drug overdoses.

****

I'm sitting in a waiting room at the nearest hospital, my hands clasped between my knees. Coco is sitting beside me, rubbing my back. Alice and the other band members are here. I haven't seen Dad since they admitted him to the hospital and I don't know how bad it is.

Alice comes to me, sitting down in front of me, reaching for one of my hands. I refuse to let her touch me and I rear back.

"How's Dad?" I demand.

"Stable. He had an...overdose of cocaine. He's had his stomach pumped. He'll live but he's going to have to stay in the hospital for a couple of days. Which means the concerts scheduled will be canceled."

"Can I see him?" Alice stands up, nodding. She turns, heading for the hallway and I follow her. We reach Dad's private hospital room and Alice allows me to go in alone.

Dad's hooked up to an IV and looks pale and weak, his eyes red rimmed and that usual spark in his eyes is gone. He looks absolutely defeated.

"Dad?" I whisper, as reaching out to touch his fingers. He tries to smile but it falls flat.

"I'm sorry, doll. I royally screwed up."

"Why?" I demand, anger flooding me. "Why the hell did you do that? Don't you give a shit about yourself at all?"

"I know I'm not a good dad, Rory. Let's face it. I suck. You're mum was right to keep me away. I'm just not dad material."

I stare at him in disbelief. Is he serious right now? What is wrong with him?

"You're not a terrible dad," I snap. "You were doing just fine until you decided to snort cocaine! What the hell is your problem? Huh?"

"You're going back home, Aurora Daphne," Dad says firmly before breaking into a nasty cough.

"Good! I want to go home! Especially if you're not even gonna try and be my father!" I turn, running out of the hospital room and down the hallway, nearly colliding with Coco.

She grabs my hand and I stare at her for a moment before bursting into tears and collapsing into Coco's arms, sobbing as though I'll never stop.

***

"She's not leaving you, Knox. Grow up and be a damn man and father!" I freeze, hovering around the doorway to Dad's hospital room. Alice is in with him and she sounds pissed.

"I'm not having this discussion with you," Dad says angrily. "Besides you didn't even want her to come in the first place!"

"You're such an asshole."

"So what else is new?" Dad growls. "Rory is my daughter and I'll be the one to make the call."

"Why did you decide to snort coke in the first place?" Alice asks.

"Because as you clearly pointed out, I'm an asshole."

"You know what I think?" Alice asks.

"No," Dad growls. "But I have a feeling you're going to tell me regardless."

"I think having Rory here reminds you of what you gave up all those years ago and you're pissed at yourself for allowing your ex wife to keep you away. So instead of facing those difficult memories, you decide to drown your troubles by getting high and nearly kill yourself in the process."

I expect Dad to lash out, throw a tantrum and call Alice every name in the book and then tell her to leave him alone. He doesn't. He starts to...cry.

It hurts, hearing Dad so down and sad. As angry as I am, I still want to comfort him and tell him he is a good father and that he can continue to be if he only puts his mind to it.

I decide to make a bold play and go see Dad. We need to sort some shit out. And even if I am on the next flight to London, I don't want to leave him having unsolved issues between us.

Dad sees me standing in the doorway and gasps. He struggles to contain himself. Alice swiftly turns, spotting me. She quickly exits the room.

"How much did you hear?" Dad asks as I perch on the edge of the hospital bed.

"Pretty much all of it," I reply, taking one of his hands and holding it between mine.

"Is what Alice said is true? Does having me here bother you that much that you have to do drugs just to forget?"

"Yeah," Dad says hoarsely. He sighs. "If you really want to return to London, I won't stop you. But if you want to stay, I'd love that as well."

I take my shoes off, sliding up beside Dad and resting my head on his shoulder as I feel him relaxing against my body.

"I really want to stay, Dad. Just please, no more drugs."

"All right, baby. And I am sorry." Dad kisses the top of my head and I sigh. Maybe Mum is right about him. Maybe Dad just doesn't know how to behave himself. Or maybe he just thinks that little of himself and that he doesn't deserve me.

Whatever the case may be, I realize just how messed up my dad really is. And like Mum said, if he won't change for me, he's not going to change for anyone.

Chapter 6

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