The darkness was suffocating. I couldn't see, couldn't breathe. I tried to call out, but no sound came from my mouth.

Suddenly, a dim light flickered on. I was in a hospital room, but it was all wrong. The walls were too close, the ceiling too low, and the steady beep of the heart monitor was deafening in the small space.

"Hello?" I called out, my voice weak and shaky. "Is anyone there?"

Shadows moved at the edge of my vision. I turned my head, trying to see who it was, but the figures stayed just out of sight.

"Mum? Dad?" I tried again. "Meri? Nathan?"

Finally, a figure stepped into the light. It was Mum, but her face was twisted into an expression I'd never seen before. Cold. Uncaring.

"Mum," I breathed, relief flooding through me. "I'm so scared. What's happening?"

But when she spoke, her voice was harsh and unfamiliar. "Why are you still here, Elizabeth? Why won't you just die already?"

I flinched as if I'd been slapped. "W-what? Mum, what are you saying?"

"You're selfish," she spat. "Holding on like this. Don't you see how much you're hurting us? How much easier it would be if you were gone?"

Tears streamed down my face. This couldn't be real. This couldn't be my mum.

More figures emerged from the shadows: Dad, his usually kind face now hard and angry. Meri, my sweet little sister, glared at me with hatred.

"You don't care about us," Dad said, his voice dripping with disgust. "If you did, you'd let go. You'd stop fighting."

"But I do care!" I cried out. "I love you all so much. That's why I'm fighting!"

Meri stepped closer, her childish features twisted into a sneer. "We don't love you anymore. You're not my sister. You're just a sick thing taking up space."

I tried to reach her, but my arms wouldn't move. I was paralysed, trapped in the hospital bed as my family surrounded me, their faces masks of hatred and disgust.

"Please," I begged. "Please don't say these things. I'm trying so hard."

"Not hard enough," a new voice said. My heart dropped as Nathan stepped into view. His hazel eyes, usually warm and kind, were now cold as ice. "You're pathetic, Elizabeth. I can't believe I wasted so much time on you."

"Nathan, no," I whispered, my heart breaking. "You're my best friend. You said you'd always stay with me."

He laughed, a cruel sound that didn't belong in Nathan's mouth. "Stay with you? Why would I want to stay with someone who's already dead?"

As he spoke, I felt a chill spread through my body. I looked down at my hands and gasped in horror. My skin was turning grey, withering before my eyes. I could feel myself fading away, becoming less and less real with each passing second.

"No," I gasped. "No, I'm not ready. I don't want to die!"

Nathan leaned in close, his face inches from mine. "You should have thought of that before you got sick," he hissed. "Do you know how much you've ruined my life? I had plans, Elizabeth. I had dreams. And now I'm stuck here, watching you die."

"I didn't choose this," I sobbed. "I didn't want any of this to happen."

"But it did happen," he said, his voice cold. "And now we're all paying the price. Your parents, your sister, me. We're all trapped here, waiting for you to let go, finally."

I tried to reach out to him, touch his face, and remind him of all we'd been through together. But my hand passed right through him like I was made of smoke.

"Nathan, please," I begged. "I don't want to be alone. I'm so scared."

I thought I saw a flicker of the old Nathan in his eyes for a moment. But then it was gone, replaced by that cruel coldness.

"You're already alone, Elizabeth," he said. "You've been alone since the day you got sick. You just didn't know it yet."

He stepped back, joining my family in a tight circle around my bed. They all stared down at me, their faces a mixture of disgust and anger.

"It's time to go, Elizabeth," Mum said, her voice emotionless. "Nobody wants you here anymore."

"You're already gone," Dad added. "You just don't know it yet."

Meri reached out and grabbed Dad's hand. "We'll be happier without you," she said, smiling at him. "We all will."

I tried to scream, to fight, to do anything, but I couldn't move. I couldn't speak. I could only watch in terror as the world around me grew darker and darker.

The last thing I saw before everything went black was Nathan's face, twisted into a smile of cruel satisfaction.

"Goodbye, Elizabeth," he said. "It's better this way."

And then there was nothing—just an endless void, cold and empty. I was alone, truly alone, floating in nothingness. No family, no friends, no Nathan. Just me and the terrifying knowledge that this was it. This was death. This was the end.

I screamed into the void, but no sound came out. I tried to cry, but I had no tears left. I was nothing, nobody, forgotten and alone.

And that, I realised with a jolt of pure terror, was worse than any pain or sickness. To be alone. To be forgotten. To fade away, with no one to remember me, no one to miss me.

That was the true horror of death.

I jolted awake with a gasp, my heart pounding and my body drenched in sweat. For a moment, I couldn't remember where I was. The darkness of my room felt oppressive, too similar to the nightmare.

With shaking hands, I reached for my phone, desperate for light, for something to anchor me to reality. As the screen lit up, I saw Nathan's sleeping face. We were still on the video call.

Tears of relief filled my eyes. It was just a dream. It was a horrible, terrifying dream, but not real. Nathan was here. He hadn't left me. He wouldn't leave me.

As my breathing slowly returned to normal, I watched Nathan sleep, finding comfort in his chest's gentle rise and fall. I was still here, still alive, and still loved.

And I was determined to stay that way for as long as possible.

As I tried to calm myself down, a wave of nausea suddenly hit me. I wasn't sure if it was from the chemo, the cancer, or just the awful nightmare, but I knew I was going to be sick.

I scrambled out of bed, nearly tripping over my tangled blankets to get to the bathroom. I barely made it in time, dropping to my knees in front of the toilet as my stomach heaved.

I don't know how long I was there, retching and gasping for breath between bouts of sickness. The world seemed to shrink down to just this - the cold tile floor beneath my knees, the harsh fluorescent light hurting my eyes, the awful taste in my mouth.

I could see it was still dark outside through the small bathroom window. Late night or early morning, I wasn't sure. Time felt weird and stretchy, like in a dream.

Just as I thought I might be done, another wave hit me. I leaned over the toilet again, my arms shaking as they tried to support me. That's when I felt gentle hands gathering my hair, pulling it back from my face.

"It's okay, sweetie," Mum's soft voice came behind me. "I've got you."

When the heaving finally stopped, I slumped back against her, tears streaming down my face. I was shaking, whether from being sick or from the weight of the nightmare pressing down on me; I wasn't sure. The terror was still so fresh, so absolute.

"Oh, Beth," Mum murmured, wrapping her arms around me. "Are you okay?"

"I'm not," I choked out between sobs. "I'm not okay. I had... I had this awful nightmare."

Mum stroked my hair gently. "Do you want to tell me about it?"

I nodded, taking a shaky breath. "It was so real, Mum. So terrifying. I was in this hospital room, but it was all wrong. Too small, too dark."

As I spoke, the images from the nightmare flooded back. "You were there, and Dad and Meri. But you weren't... you."

"What do you mean, sweetie?" She asked softly.

I shuddered. "Your faces were all wrong. Cold. Angry. You... you told me I should die already. That I was selfish for holding on."

Mum's arms tightened around me. "Oh, Beth. You know we'd never-"

"I know," I cut her off. "I know you wouldn't. But it felt so real. Dad said I didn't care about you. Meri said she didn't love me anymore, that I was just a sick thing taking up space."

Fresh tears spilled down my cheeks as I continued. "And Nathan... God, Nathan was the worst. He said I was pathetic that he'd wasted so much time on me. He said... he said he didn't want to stay with someone who was already dead."

I felt Mum stiffen slightly at that, but she didn't interrupt.

"I started fading away," I whispered. "I could feel myself disappearing, becoming less real. And all of you just watched. You said it was better this way, that you'd all be happier without me."

I was shaking now, the memory of the nightmare vivid and horrifying. "And then I was alone. Just... floating in nothingness. No one to remember me, no one to miss me. It was so cold, Mum. So empty."

Mum rocked me gently, making soothing noises. "It was just a dream, sweetie. Just a horrible dream."

"But what if it's not?" I cried. "What if that's what dying is really like? What if I... disappear? What if everyone forgets me and moves on?"

"Beth, baby," Mum said, pulling me back to look me in the eyes. "Listen to me. That is not going to happen. We love you. We will always love you. Nothing could ever make us forget you or stop missing you."

I hiccupped, trying to catch my breath. "But I'm going to die, Mum. I'm going to die and leave you all behind."

Mum's eyes filled with tears. "I know. And it's not fair. It's not right. But dying doesn't mean disappearing. You will always be part of us, always be loved and remembered."

"Even when I'm gone?" I asked in a small voice.

"Especially then," She said, her voice thick with emotion. "You are etched into our hearts, Beth. Nothing could ever erase that. Not time, not distance, not even death."

We sat in silence for a moment, just holding each other. Then I spoke again, my voice barely above a whisper. "Mum? I'm scared. I'm so scared."

"I know, sweetheart," she replied. "Everything will be okay."

"But it's not going to be," I choked between sobs. "I hate this."

She just held me tighter, rocking me gently like she used to when I was little. "I know you do, baby. We all hate it."

"I'm just getting sicker," I cried. "I feel worse than I did before the chemo. What's the point? Why am I putting myself through this?"

"Shh," Mum soothed, stroking my hair. "The doctors said you might feel worse before you feel better. It's part of the process."

I shook my head violently. "But what if I don't feel better? What if this is it? Just feeling worse and worse until... until..."

"Until what, Beth?" Mum asked gently.

"Until I die!" I practically shouted, my voice echoing off the bathroom tiles.

She was quiet for a moment, just holding me as I cried. "What do you want to happen, sweetie? Do you want to stop the treatments?"

I tried to catch my breath. "I don't know. I don't know anything anymore. I want to stay around for as long as possible, but I'm tired. So scared."

"I know you are," Mum said. "And it's okay to be scared. It's okay to be tired."

"But what if I give up?" I whispered. "What if I'm not strong enough?"

Mum pulled back again, cupping my face in her hands. "Elizabeth Reid. You are the strongest person I know. That strength will remain whether you keep fighting or decide you've had enough. This isn't about being strong enough. It's about what you want, what you need."

I sniffled, leaning into her touch. "I want to live. I want to graduate, attend university, fall in love, and have a family. I want all of it. But I can't have it, can I?"

Mum's eyes filled with tears. "Oh, sweetheart. I wish I could give you all of that. I'd give anything to make that happen."

"I know," I said softly. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to dump all this on you in the middle of the night."

"Don't you dare apologise," Mum said firmly. "That's what I'm here for. Day or night, whenever you need me."

We sat there on the bathroom floor for a while longer, just holding each other. Eventually, Mum helped me rinse my mouth and wipe my face.

"Do you think you can make it back to bed?" she asked.

I nodded, even though I wasn't entirely sure. With Mum's help, I slowly got to my feet. The room spun a little, but I stayed upright.

"Mum?" I said as we made our way back to my room.

"Yes, sweetie?"

"Will you... will you stay with me tonight?"

"Of course I will. As long as you need me," She said softly. "Let me grab you a bucket first, just in case."

I nodded weakly and returned to bed while Mum fetched the bucket. As I settled under the covers, I noticed my phone screen was still lit. Nathan's sleeping face filled the display, and despite everything, I couldn't help but smile. He looked so peaceful, his messy hair falling across his forehead, his lips slightly parted.

Mum came back into the room, bucket in hand. She noticed me looking at the phone and raised an eyebrow. "Is that Nathan?" she asked a hint of amusement in her voice.

I felt my cheeks warm slightly. "Yeah," I admitted. "We, uh... we fell asleep on the video call."

Mum's face softened into a gentle smile. "That boy really cares about you, doesn't he?"

I nodded, not trusting myself to speak. She set the bucket beside my bed and climbed in next to me, wrapping her arms around me. I snuggled into her embrace, feeling safe and protected like a little kid again.

"You know," Mum said, her voice barely above a whisper, "when you were little and couldn't sleep, I used to sing to you."

I smiled at the memory. "Yeah, I remember. You'd sing that song about the moon."

She chuckled softly. "That's right. Want to hear it again?"

I nodded, closing my eyes as Mum began to sing, her voice soft and soothing:

"I see the moon, the moon sees me,

God bless the moon, and God bless me.

I see the stars, the stars see me,

God bless the stars, and God bless me.

I see the world, the world sees me,

God bless the world, and God bless me."

Her fingers gently stroked my hair as she sang, just like she used to do when I was small. The familiar melody and the rhythm of her heartbeat against my ear began to lull me into a sense of peace.

Mum repeated the lullaby, her voice growing softer each time. The stress and fear from earlier began to melt away, replaced by a drowsy calm. My breathing slowed, matching the gentle rise and fall of her chest.

In those moments between wakefulness and sleep, I felt hope again. Yes, I was sick. Yes, I was scared. But I was also loved—by Mum, by Dad, by Meri, and by Nathan. And maybe, just maybe, that love could carry me through whatever lay ahead.

Mum's voice faded to a gentle hum as I drifted to sleep. The last thing I remember before succumbing to slumber was the warmth of her embrace and the soft glow of my phone screen, where Nathan still slept peacefully.

In that moment, despite everything, I felt safe. I felt loved. And for now, that was enough.

The night that had started with terror and sickness had ended in comfort and peace. Tomorrow would bring its own challenges, but for now, wrapped in my mother's arms and serenaded by her lullaby, I could rest.

And so, with the moon watching over us all, I finally fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.

Chapter Eleven

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