The Texas evenings in summers like this would always wrap me in its warm embrace, as I lay on the bed and gaze at the fading sun. Through the open window I would watch the silhouettes of skyscrapers against the purple-pink canvas of the sky. The city hummed a soothing melody for me, a lullaby that lulled me into a peaceful trance. For half a year, this had been my refuge, my sanctuary from the world outside. A world that had hurt me so deeply, that I had not dared to step out of this brick cocoon since I came back home.

But tonight, things demanded to be changed. I was going out for a dinner date, with a man who used to be just a friend. I felt a surge of anxiety and anticipation, mixed with a pang of regret.

Was I ready to leave behind this sunset view that had comforted me for so long? Was I ready to face the unknown, to risk my heart again?

I was doing this for Mrs Monika, my kind and caring guardian angel. She had taken me in when I returned from Memorial Hermann in Houston, battered and broken by the incident that had shattered my life. She had nursed me back to health, physically and emotionally. She had worried and fretted over me, fearing that I would never heal from the past. She had urged me to give life another chance, to find happiness again. Not that I believe I could. I agreed nonetheless, not for myself, but for her.

"You ready Sara..?" Andi's voice snapped me out of my reverie.

"Yeah coming.."

Andi was more than just a friend to me. She was my soulmate, my confidante, my partner in crime. She had been by my side through thick and thin, through joy and pain. So was her mom Mrs Monika, my loving nanny. They were the only reasons I had to keep living.

Leon and I used to have so much fun in Houston. We would spend hours at Ellen's cafe, sipping coffee and chatting. We would go to the theater and watch movies, holding hands and sharing popcorn. We would stroll in Central Park, admiring the flowers and the birds. Those memories still filled my mind with vivid colors and fluttering wings.

But I knew those colors would never paint my sky again, and those wings would never touch my skin again. I missed his sweet smell, his warm embrace, his rhythmic heartbeat. His eyes were like sparkling stars, his smile was like a ray of sunshine, his voice was like a soothing song. He was everything to me.

I couldn't say how much I loved him or how much I longed for him now. Sometimes I felt it, but I couldn't express it. All I knew was that a hollow ache gnawed at me whenever I tried to forget him.

I rose from the stool where I had been sitting by the dressing table and glanced at the mirror. The face staring back at me was pale and lifeless. No amount of makeup or jewelry could fix it. Nothing could fill the gap left by a lost smile.

But I forced myself to smile anyway. I owed it to Mrs Monika, who had arranged this date for me. She wanted me to move on, to find happiness again. So I put on my best dress and my fake grin, hoping she wouldn't notice the difference.

The clock struck seven-thirty as we pulled up to the Marais. Rayan, my date for tonight, was bouncing with excitement. He loved nights like this, I could tell. It didn't matter who he was with, as long as he had food around.

Rayan and I had worked together at the same broadcasting agency, before I left Texas to follow Leon to Houston. We had been good friends, and we had kept in touch even after I moved. When I came back to Texas, six months ago, broken and alone, he was there for me.

He had always loved the Marais. It was his favorite restaurant, ever since I met him.

"Here we are, miss," he said, opening the door for me. "You must be craving those crab cakes by now."

"Maybe," I said, smiling. "It's been a long time since I last had them." The restaurant seemed to have changed a lot in my absence here.

"I know, right? Come on, let's go inside."

I followed him to the entrance. The last time I was here was four years ago, with Rayan, Janu, and Angelica. We were a team back then, working on the same project. It was my farewell party, before I left for Houston.

"So, Aunt Monika told me you're coming back to work with us?" Rayan said, as we waited for our food, sat in a table near the clear glass window that looked out to the bustling world outside.

"Yeah, I can't keep hiding in my shell for too long. It's getting rather hot in there now that the season has changed." I said.

"Might as well go outside and see how shitty this world still is. It haven't changed a much in my absence now have it?" I asked him cocking a brow.

He let out a low airy chuckle in "Way to address your hate Miss" he said.

"Well, nonetheless I'm glad you're coming back. We missed your sharp tongue around the office."

"Thanks. And my doctor said it's okay for me to work again."

"That's great news. You know, if you want, I can talk to the boss and get you a spot on our team."

"Really? That would be awesome." I chimed. It'd be great if I could work with the same team again than adjusting to new one; though it had been quite sometime since we had worked together for the last time.

"No problem. You know what they say: better the devil you know than the devil you don't."

I laughed. He had a point. After so long, I felt a glimmer of hope. A hope of happiness. A hope of belonging.

Kerning

Summer Nights

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