SUMMARY

Nicolás Velez is done with casual sex.

Listen, yes, he might've fucked everyone in his flat within the first week of living in halls and had a respectable run on Grindr, but what eighteen-year-old wouldn't? He's almost twenty-four now, though, and sleeping with people who won't remember his name five minutes later is, as his best mate would say, "not cute, baby girl".

Problem: Nikki sucks at dating. In his defence, he really is trying his best. He even read dating advice to the eighth page of Google! (Would've read further too, but the suggestions started sounding more appropriate for the search "how to kidnap a woman?" so he reckoned it the time to quit.) Despite the effort, Nikki is about as successful on dates as Charlie Hides was on Drag Race: difficult to watch and definitely overstaying his welcome.

Josephine Rawlins is all about casual sex.

After the end of a seven-year relationship, Joe packs up the wreckage of her life in London and seeks new scenery in Manchester. Best way to get over someone is to get under someone new and Joe is ready for the slag phase she didn't have at uni. Problem: Every time someone makes flirtatious eye contact across a respectable distance of six yards, she freaks out.

Solution: Practice together. Nicolás can help her bury her ex in physical pleasure and Josephine can teach him how to not come across as a serial murderer or the single parent to an angsty teen. And when they've each refined their skill sets, they'll be free to pursue their deeply incompatible goals with other people. Practice makes perfect, right?

Unless Nicolás Velez is, simply, bad at love.

LOVE IS THE EASIEST THING IN THE WORLD WHEN IT HAPPENS BY ACCIDENT, BUT IT DOESN'T GET REAL UNTIL YOU DO IT ON PURPOSE

entergalactic (2022)

IT'S ONE THING TO BE LOOKED AT AND ANOTHER THING TO BE SEEN

caleb azumah nelson, open water

SOUNDTRACK

[spotify link in bio]

CONTENT WARNINGS

bi/panphobia (external only), parental neglect and parentification, police violence (non-explicit backstory only), trauma and PTSD. In secondary characters: abuse (in family and romantic relationships), addiction and misuse of alcohol and drugs (including self-medication), depression, disordered eating, OCD, religious trauma, schizophrenia, self-harm and suicidal ideation.

There will also be explicit sexual content.

GLOSSARY

This story is written in UK English, specifically Manchester, and hosts side characters with various dialects, so here's a quick list of some words that people who speak other forms of English might not understand. If there are any words you don't understand, do ask in the comments and I'll add them to this list for future readers. [Also I am not from the UK so if something is inaccurate, feel free to correct me]. Additional explanations will be left in in-line comments and chapter-specific author's notes when needed.

College: Years 12 and 13 of school (junior and senior grade of American high school), not university. (It can also refer to colleges within a university, like Oxford and Cambridge, but it won't be used like that in this book so I don't worry about it.)

Uni: University (what is college in the US).

Halls: University accommodation AKA dorms. Rarely in the UK do you have roommates (the rooms are much smaller than in the US) but you share a kitchen and living space. If you pay for an en suite, you have your own toilet, otherwise, that's also shared. I'm not sure what the average size is but I lived in one with five people and another one with seven people.

Undergraduate and postgraduate degrees: Bachelor's and master's degrees.

Care: Foster care. Same as in the US, you could say "I'm in the system" instead of "I'm in the foster system", in the UK you might say "I'm in care".

Council house: Public housing that is owned by the local authorities and is cheaper than renting from private landlords. You have to apply and qualify for them as you do for any other benefits.

Council estate: Multiple council houses or flats, usually with amenities.

Fit: Hot, not physically in shape

Wind-up (n)/winding up (v): Annoy, tease

Take the piss: Mock, make fun of

Our kid: Term of endearment for younger sibling, sometimes also used for friends

Mither: Bother, annoy

Nowt: Nothing (from 'nought')

Owt: Anything (from 'aught')

Summat: Something

Mint: Excellent

Dead: Very, extremely, totally

Well: Very, extremely, totally

AUTHOR'S NOTE

Hiya! Welcome to this book. This is my first book that I'm posting on Kerning but you can find more of my work over on Wattpad, though I plan to eventually move them all over here! This book is completed offline and will be updated at least once a week, usually on Mondays and Thursdays, though until Kerning gets a scheduler, I may forget sometimes xD

IMPORTANT: This story is set in 2017-18. Not in current day (2024).

Adding up all the side characters, I am writing plenty of things outside of my own experience here. I am very open to feedback about any of the representation aspects as I always want things to be authentic to the people depicted. If something is incorrect or offensive, I'd be grateful if you let me know so I can fix it.

Thanks for reading! I do hope you enjoy the book <3 Do vote and comment if you do :D

All rights reserved. Any unauthorised use of this material is prohibited under copyright law‎.

00: nikki & joe, casually

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