Qila nudged the half-open door and let herself into Xigon's study. "I did what you asked. Gave them their assignments. They should all be on their way soon enough."

No response. Xigon was asleep at his desk. The faint light of his dying lantern flickered on the lenses of his goggles. He was perfectly still and quiet, like some finely-carved doll dropped and forgotten.

Qila shook her head. It almost seemed like she found him asleep more often than not these days. She came closer and noticed his hand lay shoved between the front cover and the first page of his favorite book. Carefully, she pulled the book from him. Its worn pages had gathered dust in the days they had spent untouched. She opened the tome to its first page, where the long-dead author's graceful handwriting spelled out an epigraph.

"If two demons whisper to Kaosaan, their names are neither Ignorance nor Despair. To her left is Wisdom. To her right is Hope."

The word Despair was underlined several times. Probably by Xigon himself, if Qila had to hazard a guess.

A tingling sensation wormed its way down the back of her neck. She didn't have to look to know Xigon was awake. His arm moved to push her away. Qila seized his hand tight enough to crack his knuckles, then restated what she'd said earlier. "It's done. They'll be out soon."

Xigon stared at her hand gripping his, then gave a slow nod.

"That's only a temporary solution, though. They all want to know what's wrong, and I can hardly blame them." She rubbed her thumb along the back of his palm. "You have to tell me."

He shook his head.

"I'm not asking," she pressed. "I'm commanding you. Tell me the truth. No one can help you if you don't let them."

Xigon took a deep snarling breath.

Qila softened her tone but tightened her hold. "How can I convince you?"

"First, a truth from you." His voice came out horribly strained. "Or you'll hear nothing from me."

"Out with it, then." Qila set the book down. "What do you want to know?"

Xigon's eyes darted up to meet hers with frightful intensity. "Why do you act like you care about me?"

The old woman flinched. "I'm not acting, Xigon."

He pursed his lips, seeming unsatisfied with her answer.

"Though, I will admit to something." Qila averted her gaze. "At first, I cared about you for the wrong reasons. I went about it all the wrong way."

Xigon took a sharp breath in.

"I wanted you to be my perfect weapon," she confessed. "A means to achieve my dream. Now I understand you're..."

"More than a weapon?" he scoffed. "You know what I think, Qila?"

"What?" She braced herself for vitriol.

"You're an obsessed little child who saw a pretty insect and decided it had to be yours." He blinked. His head twitched. "Then, when that insect stung you, you cried treason and tried to crush it."

"Is that really how you see yourself?" she asked. "An insect?"

"Better to be an insect than your possession." His fingers clenched in her grip. "Why me, anyway? You've always said..." Xigon hesitated, then raised his other hand to his chest, wincing. "Am I really that much like him? Vraelen?"

"Yes, and that's why I wanted to love you from the moment we collided." She let out a miserable chuckle. "But it didn't take me long to realize you're not a miracle. You're not a gift, and you're certainly not a child of the Iron God, whether his blood runs through you or not."

Xigon made a harsh, breathy noise that almost sounded like a laugh. "You might be right. What am I to you, then?"

"I don't know," Qila admitted. "But whatever you are, you terrify me. You always have." She leaned into him so their foreheads touched. His breaths grew shakier. She closed her eyes and fought back tears. "But I can't look away. You breathe, but you were never a creature of life."

"I think you might be onto something," said Xigon. His hand clenched tighter against his chest.

Qila opened her eyes and glanced down. "Something wrong with your chest?"

"It's been hurting for weeks," he told her. "The medicine hasn't been helping at all."

"Maybe Kolo hit you there," she suggested. "She really stepped out of line."

He shook his head. "I would have known."

"Did Haode hit you there, then?" She pulled her head back. "You might not have noticed in the heat of the moment, but..."

"Qila." He said her name loud and firm. "No one hit me here."

An awkward lull of silence hung in the air between them.

After a moment, Qila shrugged. "That's odd, then."

"It is. My brand isn't healing either." Xigon shook his hand free of hers and backed his chair up. With a huff, he pulled his glove off to reveal the freshest brand on the back of his wrist. The wound was bright and angry. Qila almost thought it looked like it was glowing.

"I've also been seeing strange things." Xigon held his hand up and curled his bony fingers. "I keep seeing vital force, but not quite right. Like the blotchy afterimages you might see after looking at the sun. Even when no one else is in the room."

"But you don't know what that's about?" she asked.

"I've never experienced anything quite like this," said Xigon. "I can only hope beyond all that's reasonable that it's temporary." He gave a faint half-smile. "Isn't it funny that I've never wanted more for something to all be in my imagination?"

Qila gave a slow, stiff nod. "I suppose imagination's a powerful thing."

"Imagination cures and poisons all." Xigon pulled the book to the edge of his desk and opened back to the epigraph. "Kiiri once told me it was what gave us life. She wanted to finish her story collection before her second ascension, almost like she knew this book was all she'd leave us with." His fingers brushed a rough spot on the page. An old tear stain, perhaps. "Quite a mind she had."

"And your mind's wandering down dark tunnels." Not wanting to think about the dead author for even a moment, she closed the gap between them and took him by the wrists. "Stand up, Xigon."

He sat up straighter and glared at her, baring his teeth slightly.

"Stand up," she repeated. "If you fall, I'll catch you."

Xigon let out a low, animal-sounding growl. Then he grabbed her arms, planted his feet on the floor, and stood. His legs bent and trembled with intense strain. He braced himself heavily against Qila, seething like water thrown into flames.

She took a step back, pulling him forward. His foot landed heavily, more of a fall than a step. His boot scuffed the floor. Another step and Xigon folded to his knees. Qila tried to pull him back up. With a yelp of pain, he forced himself back to his feet. The sound startled Qila so badly that she nearly fell. It was so rare to hear so much as a whimper from Xigon that she'd almost forgotten what his pain sounded like.

Out of earshot was out of mind. Out of mind meant harmless.

If only that were true.

She made him stand a moment longer before letting him down gently. Even as she lowered him, he clung to her as if he were dangling from a cliff. His fingers dug painfully into her arms. "Whatever's happening to me now," he grunted, "it's pathetic."

"You're not pathetic," Qila insisted. "We will find a way to fix this."

Xigon looked at her, confused, his head trembling slightly. "How can you be so sure?"

"The young ones are staging an intervention whether you want them to or not." She chuckled. "I heard it straight from their mouths."

He scowled. "They shouldn't get involved."

"Oh, I fully agree," she laughed. "But we're fools if we think we can stop them."

As if on cue, footsteps thundered down the hall, then Rizval yelled. "Hey! Ice cleats go on outside!" Then a groan. "Master Qila's going to have our heads when she sees all the scratches you're leaving."

"You're forgiven," Qila called. "Just this once."

Rizval yelped and something crashed. Azvalath swore. Kolo laughed.

The old woman giggled, then shook her head. "Remind me why we ever thought it would be a good idea to start our own faction?"

"Because we love them." Xigon's lips quirked. "Please, it's the one thing we can consistently agree on."

"For sure." Qila turned to the door. "But you know we can't keep them ignorant forever."

"When they're ready, they'll know," Xigon assured her. "I can only hope they'll still be able to smile afterwards."

[2] Qila: Two Demons

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