Warning: PTSD and suicidal trigger contents in this chapter.

September and October were probably the best months of the year in Ayham. The air was warm with late summer breezes. It would lose the unbearable humidity for a short period before the cold, wet winter would creep in.

The lines of quaking aspens on Kings Row slowly changed their colors from lush green to a mixture of marigold and red-orange. The birds flew southward in a hurry but most humans slowed down and took more time to enjoy all the changes of the season. Everyone seemed to temporarily forget the poor condition of the city for a moment.

Marco's Deli was a hot spot for the working class in Eastwick Alley. It was a true hidden gem that mostly got overlooked by people from other neighborhoods. Granted that It was not the cleanest place and Ms. Alessia Marco, the 80-something-year-old owner, loved to spend her days either screaming at her son and daughter-in-law for not being smart or fast enough, or cursing at customers for occupying the seats too long. However, the best and also dirt cheap chicken parmesan sandwiches and meatball sliders in the whole East side of the city came from this deli.

Kye and Ruby used to come here every afternoon after school. They would use the little changes they had to buy one sandwich to share or simply hang out, watch, and giggle at people who came and went.

Ms. Marco, as grumpy as she was, had never yelled at the girls for doing their teenage shenanigans at her deli. She had never been really friendly to them either. She would constantly comment on how thin and sickly they looked, even when they were nothing different from other kids in the neighborhood, and fixate on feeding them with whatever they had at the deli. Mr. Marco, her son, had once said they reminded his mom of her two daughters, who both died of tuberculosis around the same age as Kye and Ruby.

Some days when they had been so busy that, for sure, there should be no leftovers, the Marcos would even set aside some food for the girls. They had stopped accepting payments from Kye and Ruby for as long as Ruby could remember, so it was fair to say that they partially raised the girls during this time.

Ruby walked down the street slowly with her hands in her jeans pockets. The winds got into her black military-style jacket, making her shiver. Her nose tip and cheeks turned red. Today was a beautiful but unseasonably cold day despite the sun being out. The street was almost empty and covered in dry leaves. The view had been unchanged since Ruby had been nineteen. She had not been back here very often and when she was, Ruby would prefer not to let a lot of people know about it.

She had only visited home once since she'd joined the Resistance. Ruby felt guilty but she knew it was all for her family's good. They should not be involved in whatever she was doing more than they had already been, and, if possible, she would do anything to keep it that way, but life always had a plan of its own.

Ruby stood by the entrance of Marco's Deli in a hidden corner so people inside wouldn't see her through the storefront window. She checked her watch again. It was still five minutes to their agreed meetup time. She needed to ask Kye something that she knew was almost impossible and might destroy the girl's life if it didn't go as planned. She just had no choice.

***

They had first met on a mission to deliver some materials to their people who were planted in the Council. Gadreel was a tall, quiet guy, with ash brown hair, dark hazel eyes, and the permanent facial expression of someone who had problems with the whole world. After some time together, however, Ruby realized the guy was just a man-child. She loved his goofiness, but something was off. Definitely.

At first, for the life of her, Ruby couldn't figure out what. It had started with something trivial like his lack of knowledge about things everyone his age should know. Movies, music, slang. Pop culture craps. Not important enough to raise questions, but Ruby sure had some. Then came everything else that was normal and not combat-related. Gadreel had not known a whole lot. But he was not dumb either. Ruby was sure.

He just didn't have many friends and only talked to people when necessary. No one seemed to know much about his background or family, where he had come from, or when he had joined the Resistance. Even his last name was a made-up one. It was as if the guy had fallen out of the sky.

Ruby didn't want to investigate the guy that way, but communication wasn't her strong suit either. They were also just 'casual', so who was she to ask questions?

The thing that topped it all, the straw that broke the camel's back, was when Ruby had found Gadreel in some corner, still as a statue, not eating, drinking, or reacting when she had called him. He had barely even breathed. It looked as if Gadreel had not been there at all, in his body. Then like someone flipped a switch, he was back.

With the other things, Ruby could chuck it up to him being a 'weirdo' because everyone she had met in the organization seemed to have some 'quirks', and that was ok, but not like this. It freaked her out, and Ruby would go on to witness more and more of Gadreel's odd behaviors until one afternoon, she couldn't hold back her curiosity and concern any longer and decided to follow the guy.

Their camp was right on the edge of an old reservation that was miles and miles of pine forests, desert shrubs, and red rock trails spreading in all directions. It contained a complex system of caves, streams, high peaks, and low hills. Ruby had followed Gadreel for half an hour, not an easy task. The guy seemed lost in his thoughts. That was the only reason why she could even follow him.

Ruby caught a glimpse of some people ahead. A man and a woman. She quickly threw herself into one of the bushes nearby.

"Hello, brother." The woman said.

She was in her late forties, with blond hair, icy blue eyes, and a stern face, but other than that, there was nothing unusual. Ruby had never heard of any sisters or family members Gadreel might have at this point. She thought, after five months, he could've mentioned something that important.

"Hello, sister." Gadreel greeted her with his monotonous voice.

"Brother, I called you here today to talk to you about your...girlfriend." It took the woman a while to find the word. "I don't think it's a good idea to stay close to her."

"What makes you say so, sister?" Gadreel frowned.

"I've watched her behaviors. The girl is reckless. She might be a risk."

"She is not a risk, Naomi. I promise you that and I'm here to make sure she won't do anything to endanger herself or any of us."

"Brother, it's not that I don't trust you. The situation we are in right now is difficult. Dangerous. We are stuck in the middle. We can't go back and the humans only let us stay because we are useful to them. Only the directors know who we are, but the secret won't be a secret forever. People are not ready and might never be ready for the truth. If we get exposed, it won't be only us, but our loved ones will also be in danger." The woman pleaded with her eyes.

"I know," Gadreel sighed, "but I trust Ruby with my life. She's saved me more times than I could count and there's nothing in this world that can make me change my mind about her. I...Just need a little more time for her to be ready before I tell her the truth."

"What if her reaction is not like how you've anticipated and she exposes you? What then?"

"She won't do it. As I said, I trust her and we're gonna prove it to you, sister."

Gadreel came closer to Naomi's face and towered over her with his height. He looked intimidating but the earnestness in his voice showed he just tried to convince the woman instead of threatening her.

"I do hope she's worth your trust, Gadreel. We left everything behind but there's more on the line now than ever. We have people that we care about and they need our protection. I am chosen to look out for all of us and that's what I do, from now until the end. I just need you to be careful."

"I am careful, Naomi. Ruby is a good person and I feel for her the same way you feel for Frank. I just hope that you can accept her."

He talked to the woman with such certainty and vulnerability that Ruby had never seen before. The woman sighed. She put her hand on the nape of his neck and their foreheads touched. They both closed their eyes for a long moment before she finally let go of him.

"Very well, brother. We will talk soon."

The woman backed up, but her eyes fixed on Gadreel. Her face went back to the blank expression Ruby had seen, and, with a rustle, she disappeared with the man she had come with. Gadreel rooted where he was with his head lowered and his back toward Ruby. The whole conversation that had just happened seemed to be a trick of her mind.

Holy shit.

Ruby dropped to the ground and covered her mouth. There were not a lot of things in the world that could shock her like that. Her mind was empty. She knew Gadreel was different, but an angel? Goddamn, she was blind. Maybe she had always known the truth but refused to believe it.

Throughout her life, Ruby had witnessed a lot of pain and deaths. People who she had held dear, her parents, friends, and teammates, all suffered. Then they left. The world that everyone used to know had been completely destroyed. All because of angels. Ruby didn't know what to think or feel at all. Why would their leaders want to invite these monsters into their camps and let them live among humans? Let them build relationships and families? Had they all lost their damn minds and forgotten about what the angels were capable of? Ruby knew they had desperately needed the intel and powers that the angels could provide, but damn if it wasn't a Pandora's box. Once they let the angels integrate with humans, God knows what could happen.

Ruby felt sick to the stomach with shock, anger, and confusion. All of her energy seemed to be drained out of her body.

She had also committed the same crime as all of those naive, ignorant people.

She had shared her life with an angel and, slowly, given him her heart. It didn't matter if Gadreel told her or not, she should have known better. She had seen the signs. Ruby was too smart to live in denial and hope for a happy ending.

The thought of their relationship should repulse her, but all Ruby felt was heartbreak. It was as if someone just punched her in the gut and Ruby didn't know if she should laugh or cry. What a cruel joke Fate had once again thrown at her face. Gadreel had been the only good thing that happened to her in this messed-up world. He always said Ruby had saved his life more than he could count but to her, it was the other way around.

Ruby had been young, hot-headed, and eager to prove herself to the organization. On her second mission, she had disregarded the whole training protocol and gotten her team of 10 people, except herself, all killed while they had tried to exit the location. That incident had changed her forever.

On the outside, Ruby was still the same—a competent soldier and prized student of Bobby Singer—but inside, hiding under her daily sarcasm and flirtations with any guy or girl she had come across, Ruby waited for her time to come. Every night, she would drown herself in a cocktail of sleeping pills and heavy alcohol, hoping for a few hours of sleep, but the nightmares kept coming back. Each one was worse than the last. Ruby had lost count of how many times she woke up in the middle of the night, soaked in sweat, and her head filled with the sound of screaming. The images of broken limbs and burnt-out bodies edged to her brain. How many times she had wanted to give up, Ruby truly didn't know.

Ruby didn't want to be alone with the nightmares and suicidal thoughts, so she often spent the nights in random people's beds. Most of the time, she had no idea how she ended up there, or what the name of that person was. She always made sure to be the first one running in the rain of bullets or burning buildings. She begged to be in any mission, 24/7, didn't matter how mundane or insane it was. At some point, her mentor had to put his foot down and announced that, unless he said so, anyone who gave Ruby information about upcoming missions would have to deal with him. He knew she would eventually crash and burn with the rate she was going. Ruby had nearly been put on indefinite suspension. The to-hell-with-it attitude didn't help, but it was the only thing that kept her going. Why not? She didn't deserve to live anyway. Why was she still alive when the other good men and women, who were much better soldiers with years of experience, who could've contributed greatly to the cause, who had families and friends missing them every day, had to die because of her stupidity?

All of that self-hatred and self-destruction would destroy Ruby if she didn't meet Gadreel. He was kind, caring, and protective. He had been there, holding her back on the brink of life and death so many times and continuing to assure her that it didn't matter what she believed, Ruby's life was valuable, not only to herself but to him and everyone who cared about her. He needed her to wake up every day and continued the fight. Gadreel had once said if Ruby tried to hurt herself, he would not forgive her and would not come to see her in the afterlife, no matter how much she begged, and he knew she would beg. Ruby had laughed at that dramatic and stupid threat, but it all seemed to make sense now.

The sound of footsteps crunching on dry twigs and gravel made her jump. Ruby wiped the tears away in a hurry before turning back.

"You've been following me." Gadreel stood behind her with his hands in his jacket's pockets.

Ruby wasn't sure if it was a question. It didn't matter. She stood up and glared at him, but the anger inside of her was long gone. It was replaced by a mixture of unpleasant no-name emotions. Ruby suddenly felt exhausted. She dropped her eyes to the ground and turned away, but before she could take a step, Gadreel was right in front of her.

"Don't bother to hide your angel shit anymore, I see," Ruby smirked. Her eyes were burning up and she knew the tears were coming.

"Please, Ruby. Just let me explain."

Gadreel grabbed her arm with a crushing force that made Ruby hiss. He seemed startled at her reaction and dropped it.

"I'm sorry... But please, listen to me, I've never wanted to hide anything from you. I just want a little more time to make sure you can handle the truth before telling you."

"Oh, please, you don't think I can handle the truth? How fragile do you think I am? Or you so lack trust in me that you think I'm gonna rat you out the minute I know it? What is it, Gadreel?... Well, fuck you."

Ruby walked away so fast that she tripped. Her ankle popped loudly on the silent hill.

Gadreel zapped in front of her again and dropped down to her level. He lifted her foot the same way someone would handle a piece of china.

"Do not touch me!"

Ruby saw stars when she tried to yank her leg from Gadreel's hands. He didn't yield this time and came so close to her face that goosebumps rose on her skin.

"Stop hurting yourself." His voice was calm and low. "We can talk after I fix this."

His hand hovered above her ankle. It glowed up like hot metal and Ruby felt a warm sensation pour into her before it turned searing hot for a second. The pain was completely gone. She moved her ankle from side to side to see if it was back to normal before looking up at Gadreel's face. His hazel eyes had been locking on her and she could see many unsure emotions in them.

"Yes, I am an angel," he started. "I had guarded Heaven and fought alongside my siblings for millennia. Responsibilities to Heaven always came first. I never questioned or disobeyed orders, not even once, but when I came down to Earth, everything just seemed...different. Humans were so lively and free. I always wondered what it felt to be like them, but the war had started and we were ordered to destroy all sins. It soon became pointless, one battle after another. A lot of my siblings died but they kept sending more. For what? Nobody had heard anything from Father in a long time, so nobody could confirm if it was actually His will or not. We were never meant to claim Earth. I was tired but I didn't know what else to do. One day, a brother of mine just ripped out his grace in front of us. It was an explosion of power. He just said enough was enough, you know, and we could make our own choices. That moment felt like a message or a sign. After that, waves and waves of angels left, gave up on grace, turned mortal. The garrison leaders were furious but they couldn't make it stop. Once we saw freedom, we wanted it, but before I could make a decision for myself, my garrison was decimated after one battle. I was among a few who barely survived. My sister, Naomi, the one you just saw me talking to, found me and brought me here. She had worked out a deal with the Resistance directors to harbor us angels who left the ranks. As long as we proved our loyalty and contributed to the cause, we could stay and have a life in the Resistance camps. My sister took care of me since I was barely a hatchling, fresh out from the Mold. She raised me and trained me. She was one of the first who left. I never thought I would have a connection with someone the way some of my brothers and sisters had until I met you. I saw something in you that was so familiar, and it called for me. I knew you needed me just as much as I needed you, Ruby." Gadreel finally stopped and gazed into Ruby's eyes, waiting for her reaction.

Suddenly, everything came back so vividly in Ruby's mind.

...

It was a cloudy August day, she had just received a phone call from her handler, telling her that after she delivered the materials to the last person, a senior officer working in the Logistic Agency, she would wait and come back with a team that was nearby. Ruby knew it was just another way for Bobby to keep an eye on her and force her to interact with people. Her mentor believed being alone is not good for anybody, especially her. Ruby didn't have any other choice, so after finishing her task, she waited for the team in a hotel room.

They showed up around 12:30 p.m. Three men and one woman, each carrying a duffle bag of a different size. They all looked tired but didn't seem to be in a bad mood.

"Man, what a night! Why can't we have successful nights like that all the time?" A guy with copper hair and mustache laughed while flopping down on the sofa. His feet were on the coffee table. "Forgive me." He jumped up and put out his hand. "I'm Frank Jr. What's your name?"

"Ruby." She took his hand with a sly smile.

"This is Paul. Annie. Gadreel."

The first two raised their hands as the guy pointed at them, but not the last one. He just sat by the desk, staring at her with all his might.

Weirdo.

Ruby lifted her eyebrows but didn't make any comments. The guy never avoided her eyes the whole time and his intense gaze made someone as brazen as Ruby squirm in her own skin.

"Ok...," Frank Jr. must have detected the tension. He picked up his duffle bag once again. "You guys ready? You're ready, Ruby?" He turned to her and clapped his hands together. "Ok, let's get the hell out of here."

The other three walked out of the room with no complaints. Ruby rolled her eyes, then picked up her bag and followed them.

Frank Jr. talked the whole way down to the parking garage under the hotel. Ruby answered whatever questions he threw at her but she was not at all enthusiastic. All she thought about was a shower and her bed. Occasionally, her eyes diverted to the tall guy who walked to the left of them all. Their eyes met a few times and Ruby tried her best not to lose him in the staring contest.

It was a weird drive back to the camp. They were all jammed in a small van with Ruby sandwiched in between the tall guy and the girl, Annie. Frank Jr. was in the front with Paul. They talked, laughed at their inside jokes, and changed radio channels every five minutes. It could easily drive anyone insane, but the people next to Ruby didn't seem to mind. The guy, Gadreel, after Ruby had told him not to stare at her as if his life depended on it, or she would gouge his eyes out, just lowered his head and stayed quiet. The girl, Annie, had fallen asleep as soon as they got into the van. Her head bobbed back and forth so violently with the vehicle's movements that, at some point, Ruby had to push the girl back so she could lean fully on the headrest, in fear she might accidentally break her neck.

Ruby had never talked to any of these people before. The camp that she stayed in was a huge one with a capacity of two thousand folks, give or take. People moved around and switched camps every so often, so there was no way she could know everyone. Ruby was also not interested in making friends. Her life was not at a good point right now.

The warmth emitted from Gadreel and his slow, steady breathing made Ruby highly aware of his presence. Even through layers of clothes, she could feel his solid muscles and they made her instinctively sigh.

Get a hold of yourself, Ruby. You're just tired out of your mind, but she knew it was not a tired reaction. When Ruby secretly checked out of the corner of her eye, Gadreel was also looking down at where their arms touched.

Ruby was the last one getting out of the van when they reached the camp. After saying goodbye to everyone, she turned to her cabin before feeling someone behind her. Ruby readied herself to throw a punch at whoever that was.

"You dropped this," the person cleared his throat.

It was Gadreel with his ridiculously innocent look. Ruby couldn't even give him any bad attitude. The situation was so cliche that she wanted to cringe and roll her eyes. On the guy's hand was a keyring with all of her vehicle, cabin, and lockers keys, but the most important object to Ruby was a piece of scratched-up metal with her and Kye's names hand-carved on it. It was her 15th birthday gift from Kye that, no matter what happened, and how much time had passed, Ruby would never want to part ways with. The charm reminded her of home. She must have forgotten to zip up the bag's outer compartment.

"Thanks," Ruby grumbled and walked away. She took a few more steps before stopping and sighed. Ruby knew the guy was still standing there, staring at her back. She didn't know why she felt anxious. It was not her first rodeo.

"Hey, big guy, what are you up to this evening?"

The question popped out of her mouth before she could stop it. Just another night with another bad decision it seemed.

***

Bobby looked up at Ruby. She was one of the few he was most proud of. Intuition, stealth, speed,... the girl got it all, but the best thing was her background history. She had a bad enough grudge against the angels that made her devoted to the cause.

Ruby was 8 years old when her town got burned to the ground during the War. She and her mom were one of a few survivors and they were on the road for a good one and a half years before a team of angels found them and smote the mom. The angels had a smite-on-sight policy around this time to weed out as many humans as they could.

The image of fire and smoke that came out of her mom's eye sockets and mouth stayed fresh in Ruby's mind until these days. She could still hear the scream and smell the burnt flesh when she closed her eyes sometimes. The angels would've killed her too if one of them didn't suggest they should let her go. A quick death was mercy compared to a long winter on the road with no food and shelter. Until these days, Ruby was grateful for that angel's cruelty. Because of that, she was left alive and was able to crawl her way to Ayham, where Kye's mom saw her and took her in.

It had been a great disappointment to Bobby that the Resistance agreed to some damn deal with the rogue angels because they needed these "special soldiers". The organization seemed to slowly lose its way since some of the young and soft joined the Leader Board. He listened to their plan for "a peaceful future" when humans and angels could live alongside each other in harmony and he was just baffled.

Bobby was old school, he didn't want equal rights with the angels, he wanted them to get the hell off Earth and back to their Heaven. It was one species too crowded as it is. He never believed there were angels with goodwill, all of them sky creatures wanted domination and destruction of who they deemed inferior. Now even his favorite student wanted to beg for his help to save one of those that she was trained to kill, what had this world become?

To Bobby, Ruby was not only his trainee, she was a daughter he never had and someone he could refer to take over his position in near future. He was not very old but he was also not in his 20s anymore. His body was ridden with old wounds and arthritis, on top of a bad drinking habit that had destroyed his liver. His two adoptive sons were also excellent soldiers but they were too attached and dependent on each other and sometimes their hotheads could make decisions that truly bewildered everyone. He had hoped Ruby could take an interest and eventually marry one of them. Sam was a good choice since he was much calmer than his brother. They could complement each other's personalities and make a perfect team, but the two never moved past the friendly stage. Ruby was a wild girl so the brothers didn't take her seriously. At the end of the day, seeing the distraught state she was in, Bobby blamed this mess on the bad decision that the Leader Board had made to let angels mingle with humans, but what could he do? It was too late then.

Ruby leaned on Bobby's desk, her head dropped and she tried her best not to shed a tear. Her mentor hated when she showed weakness.

"So you tell me there's no way to send people in to get them?" Her shaking voice did a bad job of hiding what she really felt.

"Ruby," Bobby sighed. "You know how deranged Luc is. He could easily tell how valuable that team is to us and put up a fight that we don't need right now. Luc's attention is bad. We can't let anyone, especially Luc, know about the Resistance harboring angels. We don't know what he's gonna do. It would hurt our organization badly."

"I don't give a damn about all that, Bobby!" Ruby lifted her head so fast she almost got a neck strain and her eyes were bloodshot. "Luc would've known that already by now. They are our people and they are not safe there. God knows what he's gonna do to them? You know that and you want to leave them there to die?"

"Listen to me, girl! Don't talk to me in that tone. I want to get them out just as much as you do but you'd better calm down! I will find a way but if you skip camp and drive to your death, trying to rescue that boy, I'll kill you myself first!" Bobby grabbed both of her arms and gave her a good shake.

Luc, Lucas, or Luke, no one knew exactly what his name was, indeed was a deranged person. He was one of the Resistance's early sponsors. When Bobby and the other founders met the guy, Luc was in his early 30s, filthy rich, and super charming but also shady as hell. They always felt he had an ulterior motive when he seemed overenthusiastic about "sticking it up to the angels". He did give a good speech about human rights and how their freedom shouldn't be suppressed just because some assholes from Heaven said so. If the angels wanted war, they would bring the war to their doorstep. They should make the angels realize how bad their decision of coming down to Earth was. Then after five years of being with the organization, one day he just said he lost interest, then up and disappeared the very next day, no one knew where he went. It was as if their revolutionary movement was just a game to him, never mind the time, effort, and money he had put into it.

Three years after Luc had left the organization, one day they heard the news he was back in business and would deal with any interested party. Talk about integrity or the lack thereof. Luc had carved out a sizable territory for himself on the Southside of the city during the time he was off the radar. There had been some brutal murders of angels in the area that got the Council's full attention. The rumor was Luc had them sanctioned and it was believable because nothing would happen in that area without his knowledge. Somehow the guy just covered his ass so well that the Council couldn't find any concrete evidence connecting him and the murders. He was nearly untouchable, and up until these days, he is still thriving in his little kingdom.

Two weeks ago, the Resistance sent a team to make a trade deal for some supplies in the Southside. After they concluded the deal, the team went off track and all signals were lost for 3 days before the Leader Board received a video call from Alastair. The guy was snide as usual, admitting that he got the team and he found "something very interesting about some of them." The leaders didn't even know what Alastair was doing in Luc's territory but it was irrelevant at that point.

The team they had sent consisted of six members. Three of them were angels. Since Luc's territory was a dangerous area, the organization sent in more angels than usual. Gadreel was one of them. Alastair said he was not interested in keeping the team, but to get them back, the Resistance needed to get him something.

"It was locked at all times in the archangel's vault and I know you guys must've asked, why can't we just get it ourselves? Yes, we can, but it would be a huge hassle. Why would you do something yourself when you can get someone else to do it for you?" Alastair grinned and tapped his temple. "Our faces were plastered on all of the warning posters and news so we can't move around freely on that side of the city without being heavily prepared. We're in the middle of something right now, but don't even think of stabbing us in the back because we still have enough firepower to return the favor if you guys decide to try anything. At the end of the day, you must ask yourself before doing anything, what you're gonna gain from it. So be smart. Talk soon!"

Alastair hung up before the directors could wrap their heads around what was going on.

Unbeknownst to them, Ruby pressed herself outside the door and eavesdropped on the message. Her mind ran hundreds of miles per hour. After two weeks of Gadreel not coming back, Ruby was driven mad with concern. When Bobby left abruptly in the middle of their training session, she knew something was up. She followed him to the meeting room and waited for the other handlers and directors to go in before sneaking closer. Even when she had no idea what the object Alastair wanted was, she knew exactly what to do and who could help her with it.

Moment in time

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