Notes: Sexual Content

Kye is pinned to the truck. She looks up at the large shadow in front of her. Its eyes, which resembled two blue flames, have haunted her dream for months. They glow beautifully in the dark before dimming. Kye can't see the shade that she has missed so much, but under the bright moonlight, Michael's features are visible and even more striking in black and white.

The sparkles of his eyes speak louder than any word. Anger, sorrow, worry... all wrapped up together, making her speechless. Kye never knows the archangel can show that many emotions through his eyes. Maybe, she does and has forced herself to forget.

"Michael..."

Her voice sounds foreign as if it comes from someone else. Saying his name out loud for the first time after months apart sends a shockwave through her spine. Kye doesn't know if it's good or painful.

"What did you say? Just now." Michael tilts his head.

"I didn't..."

"Not say." The archangel closes his eyes, searching for the right word. "What did you think? Repeat it."

"I don't remember." Kye drops her eyes to the ground. His intense gaze made her want to cry.

"Stop lying. I've heard everything, and now you don't have the courage to say it again, Kye?"

His tone is as cold as ice, and then it changes. The way Michael says her name in the end, like an alluring taunt, makes Kye unsure if she wants to kiss or slap him. Either way, she dreams of making it hurt despite knowing how physically impossible that is.

Kye closes her eyes instead, hoping her conflicting emotions will quiet down, but it is no good. Michael's presence is overwhelming. His scent is as clean and crisp as a snowy morning, filling her every cell. At the same time, the heat emitting from his body is almost unbearable. Michael's breaths constantly brush her cheeks in slow and steady motions. In combination with being so close to his grace and how emotional she is, goosebumps spread uncontrollably all over her skin.

The hardest thing to ignore is the air around them. It seems to warp and crackle with power. Either the archangel has done something to charge up his grace during the time they were apart or his mood is very unstable at the moment.

Everything Kye has remembered and imagined about Michael is magnified by a thousandfold. She is afraid that she can't keep up the calm front much longer.

"Open your eyes and look at me, or I will pry them open. You know I will." Michael's hand on her neck was barely a phantom.

Kye used to find his touch comforting, but now it just burns like fire. She presses herself a little harder against the truck, hoping to create some distance with Michael, but as she moves, so does he. Her back felt like it could break. Kye frowns at the increasing discomfort and slowly opens her eyes. It takes a few minutes of mentally preparing before she can look the archangel in the eyes again.

"Let me go." She tries to keep her demands steady.

"Not until you repeat what you thought."

Michael's voice is monotonous, but Kye can detect a subtle playful note. It reminds her of before. He is a cat, and she is his half-dead meal. Kye is frustrated at her helplessness, but at the same time, the heat building up in her lower stomach makes her slowly lose focus.

How close Michael is, his touch, his voice—everything about him pulls her like a powerful magnet, and no matter how hard she tries, Kye can't break free. Not that she really wants to. It has been too long, but it feels like yesterday.

Kye has missed it. Every minute, every second.

"Michael, please..." She bites back her tears. "I just came here to apologize to you...Maybe, say goodbye properly. That's all. I didn't mean..."

"I don't need your apology." The archangel cuts her off. "Although it's nice to hear that from you, an apology is not needed. Not now, not ever."

He backs up a little to look at her. Kye immediately wants his warmth back, but her heart skips a beat. She doesn't want to assume that she understands what Michael means, but a sense of hope starts to spread like wildfire in her chest.

After everything she has done, somehow, Michael still has it in him to forgive her? There is a chance they can pick up where they left off?

Michael is studying her. His eyes trace from the top of her head down to her lips, slowly and meticulously, as if he is taking a mental record. He then steps closer and touches her face for a second before dropping his hand as if it's burned.

Kye doesn't mean to flinch and shift away from him. It just happens. It must not be something Michael expects. He frowns but tries again, this time as gently as he can. He holds her face in both hands like a delicate object and draws small circles on her lower lip with his thumb, all while humming a tune that Kye has never heard before.

Michael never cares much for music or arts. He only studies them to kill time and understand more about humans. As well as Kye would like to think she knows the archangel, there are so many layers of him that continuously surprise her. The humming is a bizarre combination of a melody and purring deep in his throat. Kye can't tell if it is sad or happy, but her mind is captured. She feels much calmer than before.

Michael looks as if he is about to fall into a dream with his eyes half closed, so Kye takes the opportunity to observe him.

The moonlight wraps the archangel in a bluish glow and softens his remarkable features. He looks ethereal and breathtaking, even more than she has remembered. He is the same yet different in some indescribable way.

Kye's hair and t-shirt are dampened by the dews, but she doesn't feel cold standing next to Michael. Every part of her is warm.

"Hold me," she blurts out.

Something has come over her and, before Kye knows it, it's already too late. She wants to bite her tongue off for the demand. She doesn't want to look up and see the annoyance, or worse, indifference in Michael's eyes. She remembers it well. Her stomach churns with anxiety.

Michael's hand stops and moves from her lips to behind her ear. He combs through her fine brown hair and pulls her closer. Kye feels his lips on top of her head, her forehead, and then her lips. Each time, his movements are a little less controlled. Michael's arms wrap around her like a protective blanket with the tingling sensation she knows all too well.

Kye hugs him back as tightly as she can, giving in to the kiss. She tries to anchor herself against the unreasonable fear that somehow, Michael would disappear into thin air as he did in her countless dreams. She feels his warm chest under layers of clothes, and her whole being holds on to it like a life float.

Kye eventually breaks away and rests the back of her head on the truck's side. She sighs while touching the archangel's face. His rough stubble stings her palm when he leans in and kisses it.

"If I don't know better, I would say you forgot to shave. You look rough," she chuckles.

He really doesn't, but she can't think of anything better to say.

"You look beautiful," Michael replies simply. His eyes never leave her.

Kye is caught by surprise, and then she feels bittersweet. Michael almost never gives compliments. There is no point for him to do that, and she knows she doesn't look her best. Her hair is dry and tangled in a messy braid; her face is haggard; and her eyes are bloodshot due to the lack of sleep and all of the tears she has tried to hold back earlier. Somehow to Michael, she is still beautiful.

"You sweet talker." Kye smiles, but her eyes start to swell up. There is so much time lost—time they could've spent together that is gone forever because of what she did. She is still paying for it.

Every night before going to bed, when the world quiets down around her, Kye spends a few minutes reminiscing. She thinks of Michael. Just a few minutes are all she needs, she tells herself, but sometimes her heart refuses to listen.

Kye keeps reminding herself not to think too hard before her thoughts become calls and prayers. Before they become a beacon for him. She doesn't want to endanger the camp and its people. Even with all the wardings around, she has a feeling that if Michael really wants to, he can locate her and come crashing in at any moment.

But most likely, he won't. Right? He has come to some sort of agreement with the Resistance. Peace is fragile, and she is just a discarded pet that holds no value to him.

Sometimes, however, it is hard to shake off the feeling that someone is in the room with her when she is completely alone. It is weird and pathetic, borderline crazy, but Kye can only blame her overgrown imagination.

Kye throws her unhappy memories to the back of her head and gazes at Michael. He will never know how empty she has felt, how big a chunk of her life has been missing when she was not with him. There is no point in telling him any of that.

Kye pulls Michael in by his suit lapel and kisses him with all she's got. Her small body is crushed in his arms, and her lungs are out of air, but Kye doesn't want to let go. If she dies here tonight, so be it.

She feels like a floating island in the sea of stars. Nothing in the whole universe can stop or come in between them ever again. The oneness she shares with Michael right here and now trumps everything Kye has ever experienced in her life.

Michael, I love you. That was on my mind earlier, right now, and as long as I'll live. It's always been you. No one else. I don't remember when, but I know I have loved you for such a long time. I'm a coward for not admitting it sooner.

Kye opens her eyes and lets the tears roll out freely. Somehow, through all of the turbulence, her mind is clearer than ever. It forms a message and sends it to Michael. The look on his face tells her that he doesn't miss a single word.

Kye bites her lip and puts her head down against his broad chest. The sound of Michael's fast-beating heart makes hers also race like a jackrabbit. She wants him to say something and she waits for a long time, but the archangel just puts his chin on top of her head and stays quiet.

Finally, she hears him sigh. "I don't know what to do with you, Kye..."

His voice is impossibly deep. It echos through his rib cage from right under Kye's ear to the rest of her body and shakes her to the core.

"I don't think you understand, Kye. Everything I have said and done up until this point should've already shown you how much you mean to me. You should not, even for a minute, doubt that. Anything you want to do, if you're ever in trouble or in a tough position, you should let me know. You can always count on me to be there. You should never go through dangers or difficult situations by yourself as you did. It showed that you didn't trust me and it really upset me, more than the act of stealing itself."

Kye looks up and watches Michael take a few steps back while staring at her with a blank expression. At some angles, she can see the blue of his eyes, but for most parts, they are as dark as the ocean at night. Her chest weighed heavily with shame.

"I'm sorry," Kye speaks under her breath. She can't stand the archangel's searing look. Suddenly there is nothing but silence between them.

Kye waits for Michael to say something, anything, but after a while, she nods and straightens her back up. It is clear. Redemption won't come easy. He doesn't want her love, not now, and there is nothing she can do. The damage is done.

She doesn't want to lie to Michael either. Not anymore. It will be an insult to the relationship they have. Or had. Her trust in him does have a limit. When it comes down to Earth and Heaven, her kind and his, Kye is pretty sure which side Michael will choose. In the end, they are who they are, fundamentally different.

"It's good seeing you again, Michael. I should go..."

Kye turns to her truck door, which she didn't lock, and finds it mysteriously glued to the vehicle's body. No matter how much effort she puts in to get it opened, it won't budge. She glares back at the archangel with questions in her eyes.

"We're not done here." Michael snaps his finger and Kye is right back to where she was before, in front of him. Their noses are inches away from each other.

"I want to wait for the right time to come and see you, but you're here now."

Before Kye can open her mouth to say anything, Michael's lips press on hers with a punishing force. The desire is easy to tell, and his whole body shows her in the only way it knows how.

Oh, I miss you too.

Kye can't help but smile under his lips. His action wipes every thought in her mind away. Kye frantically pulls his suit jacket and dress shirt off his shoulders before lifting her t-shirt over her head. She can't wait to feel his skin with all its electrifying tingles on hers again. The pros and cons, good and bad of their situation will just have to wait another day.

Michael's lips trail down Kye's neck while his right-hand goes under her bra. She moans with its roughness on her skin and digs her hands deeper into his thick, dark brown hair, making a mess out of it. The archangel mimics her action by pulling her hairband down and smoothing out her tangled locks. The tuggings close to her scalp are strangely relaxing and arousing at the same time. Kye feels her whole body melt into his touches.

"How can I leave you, if you keep doing this?" She sighs and slides her hands down Michael's back.

His blue eyes glaze over with passion, but under that, true emotions show. "Then don't leave," he whispered.

***

Michael snaps his finger and the last pieces of their clothes disappear. They stand completely naked together, and the same satisfaction Michael gets every time Kye gives him her undivided attention rushes over.

It is a superficial attraction, he knows, but he has accepted that. It's her human nature and it's not necessarily a bad thing. This vessel is a part of him just as his wings or his grace. It is destined to be his from the very beginning, so this is him. Inside and out. Someday when Kye is ready, Michael hopes to show her his true form. Maybe, she will learn to love it. Until then, whatever makes her happy, he will gladly provide.

Kye has been the reason for a more tolerable, enjoyable even, stay on Earth. Michael feels alive, not just exists but truly lives for the first time. He has never liked Earth or humanity as a whole, but Kye is the exception he is happy he has made. Michael doesn't want to go back to the days when he didn't feel a damn thing and just moved forward like a machine anymore. He thought it was better that way, but Kye has shown him that he is more than a weapon.

Michael cups Kye's face with both his hands and savors her lips as if this is their first and last night together. The sounds of their hard breathings and collided wet lips, along with the occasional callings of nocturnal creatures and rustles of dry leaves break the forest's silence.

***

Kye startles when she tastes blood on Michael's lips. The cut is healed immediately, but she can't help but fall back into the dark abyss of guilt that has consumed her since the day they parted ways.

All I do is hurt him. He should not be with me. I'm no good for him.

She doesn't want to believe it, of course, but it is hard not to when she has been telling herself this every day for the past eight months.

"I'm sorry, it's all my fault..." Kye inhales and covers her face with both hands, trying her best to restrain her tears, but she fails miserably.

***

The archangel touches his lower lip while watching Kye falling apart in front of him. Even the bloodstain has gone, so why is she crying? It is hard to understand human emotions sometimes, but Heaven knows he has tried. Michael sighs and pulls Kye's hands away from her face. She fights, but her strength is nothing compared to his. Michael locks both her hands in his then lifts her face. His eyes follow hers until Kye has no choice but to look into them.

"Why are you crying?" Michael asks. "Did you think I got hurt? You can't hurt me."

It is not a completely true statement. Michael feels it deep in his chest right now while watching Kye cry with absolutely nothing he can do to ease her pain.

Kye yanks her hands free and throws herself into his arms. Her tears drip down his bare skin while her frail arms desperately cling to his body. It takes all the breaths that Michael doesn't know he possesses away and leaves behind a giant hole in his chest. He doesn't know what else to do but wrap his arms around her as tightly as possible. All of his faces want to kiss her; all of his hands and claws want to touch her, hold on to her; all of his wings want to wrap her in a cocoon and never let go. Maybe she does feel their touches, that's why she shudders. Michael puts his mortal face down in her brown hair and patiently listens.

The sniffling mumbles surprise, and then frustrate him. How can she even think so? After everything he has said and done, how can she think he doesn't need her or want her back? Or they should not be together? How does any of this make sense? Is she doing this on purpose to test him, or is she just blind?

Michael inhales deeply and speaks in the calmest voice he can muster. "Kye, I'm gonna say this once and for all. I really hate to repeat myself, so listen carefully. You can't think like that. I want you back, more than anything I have ever wanted in my life. I don't have any new companions. I don't need one. I have you. The only reason why I didn't come sooner is that I wanted to make sure Alastair and his men wouldn't come back for you. His motive was unclear as to why he wanted you, and there's a possibility that he might not be dead, so as much as I don't like it, you're safer where you are. The Resistance can protect you. For the moment, at least... It has been hard for me, too."

Since the supposed death of Alastair, the number of attacks on angels has been tripled and not limited to the south side of the city anymore. There is no hard evidence linking them to Alastair, but anyone with half a brain cell can see the connection. As much as Michael wants to think he can protect one tiny human, he can't be with her 24/7. His attention splits into many places. He can't deny that being next to him will put a huge target on Kye's back, and Michael can't imagine what he will do if Kye gets hurt because of him in any way, shape, or form.

The Resistance has been extremely quiet in the past few months. Besides the quibble he had with Bobby Singer, which is unavoidable, there has been no sabotage, personnel kidnapping, or even supplies stealing. Michael dislikes that organization for obvious reasons, but Bobby Singer has a reputation. He prioritizes people whom he considers his. That includes Kye now. From the conversations they had, Michael knows as long as Kye stays at the camp, she will be protected. There are no better options now when she is already there.

"I want to go back with you... I don't care if it's not safe."

Michael's thoughts are cut short by Kye's sniffle. He lifts her by the under of her thighs and presses her against the truck.

"But I do," he said. "And so should you. There are ways they can get to me that are worse than death."

The sudden contact with the truck's cold surface makes Kye jump. She has no choice but to wrap both her arms and legs around Michael. The familiar, amazing feel of his body welcomes her and makes her sigh in contentment.

"Like what?" she asks.

"Losing you."

Michael thrusts into her. His action is unexpected, but Kye has been ready. Desire pools in her lower stomach, between her legs, and drips down her thighs. She gasps at the sensation she hasn't felt for a while. So does Michael.

***

The archangel suddenly feels a strong urge to abandon his vessel and seep into Kye. He wants to truly be one with her, even more than usual just for a second before his unwarranted possession can create damage. As he puts his palm on her forehead, Kye's eyes flash open, and her body tense up. She pushes on Michael's shoulders and struggles to get off him.

"No! No! Please...Let me go!"

The plead cuts the archangel deeper than anything he can imagine, seeing how panicked Kye is. She is scarred because of his past action at the exchange. Michael squeezes her legs. He doesn't want her to leave or get hurt trying to run away from him.

"Please, Kye, don't be scared... Stay with me... I promise nothing will happen to you when I'm here. I will never leave you, ever again."

He holds her very still, inhales and exhales until Kye stops struggling and her breathing matches his.

"Trust me." Michael slowly channels his grace into her. "I will never leave you."

***

Kye whimpers as vivid images and sensations from Michael's memory pour into her like a waterfall, more because of her own fear than any actual discomfort. She knows how powerful Michael is, and she is completely under his mercy.

Her mind is occupied by Michael. She experiences his every sense, feeling, and thought on top of her own. They are inside, outside, and all around her. It feels all too much for a moment, but nothing bad. His Enochian voice fills her head like a harmony of many voices and sounds, all singing and talking at the same time. It is beyond beauty, love, and intimacy that a human mind can comprehend. Euphoria captures Kye's every nerve end and leaves behind a long-lasting haze. She feels it like a downpour on her parched soul.

If this is a small taste of what it feels like to be fully connected to Michael, Kye wouldn't wish for anything else.

The glow from his palm spreads to her whole body and lights up the vast area around them as bright as day for fifteen minutes before dimming. Everything, once again, is blanketed in darkness. The starry sky above seems to swirl while they get lost in each other. Kye closes her eyes, feeling the lines and ridges that she has known so well on Michael's broad back. She moves her hands up and down, imagining where his three pairs of wings come out of. They never materialize for her to see, only appear as large shadows, but they must be as beautiful and glorious as the sun. She can't imagine anything less from Michael.

"I'll show them to you someday," the archangel speaks softly into her ear.

"Promise?"

Kye turns to look at him. His eyes are half-closed, but she can see the fire that she rarely sees in them.

Michael nods while breathing shakingly against her neck. "I promise."

He finally shuts his eyes and slows down the pace. Each stroke goes deeper as if to make Kye feel every inch of him claiming her as his.

"I love you." His lips brush her ear with each word. Goosebumps rise on her skin and Kye can't hold back a cry. The weight of Michael's words hits like a metric ton and makes her lose all self-control. This is it, the simple confession that she has been waiting for. Years in, and Michael has a way of making her feel loved and protected, but Kye thought she would never hear these words from him. It was out of his nature, but here they are.

The archangel turns his confession into a series of nibbles and kisses, and he doesn't stop until his lips reach hers. Kye slightly opens her mouth and lets him in. Every part of her trembles. She cries out his name in her mind, over and over again, the way she wanted to but never could. The memories of him have been the absolute curse and salvation in those lonely nights.

Kye digs her nails into Michael's shoulders and rakes them down as hard as she can. Everything in this moment is a little too much to bear. It overpowers her every sense and leaves her wrecked with the devastating thought of losing him again. She needs to leave marks on him, something to show that he is hers, even just for a second. It's a twisted way to let the archangel know how much she needs him.

Ten long, angry marks disappear as soon as they show on Michael's back. Kye does it until her hands are tired. Michael never once complains. His muscles twitch when the nails hit, but he just continues as if nothing happens. Michael may feel none of it, but Kye believes he allows her to take it out on his vessel because he understands.

"Why did you let me do that? Why did you keep letting me hurt you? How can you forgive me and love me after what I've done?" Kye cries while trying to catch her breath.

The archangel removes his face from the base of her neck and gazes deeply into her eyes. "Because you mean more than anything to me. My grace, vessel, power, I can give them all up for you. I could die for you if i were mortal, but I much prefer we both live for each other. There are many worlds I want to go to, many things I want to do, but they will mean nothing if you are not with me, Kye. I refuse to be without you again, so until the end of time, until everything turns to dust and restarts, you are mine, just as I am yours."

***

The night is late with cold dews falling on every blade of grass. Thick layers of leaves and intertwined branches cover the truck from above. The giant firs have been here for centuries, untouched by the violence of nature and humans, proudly reach for the Milky Way.

"Where is Heaven?" Kye asks with her head on Michael's shoulder.

They huddle together in the truck bed under an old wool blanket Kye retrieved from the truck. Michael never feels hot or cold, but he likes to mimic Kye and be as close to her as possible. He rubs his face on her soft, messy brown hair and squeezes her little hand. She always asked him that question when they watched the stars together, and he always answered truthfully.

"Heaven is everywhere. Humans imagine that it is above Earth, but it is, in fact, a different dimension. It is closer than you think, but you won't be able to see or feel any of it. Not yet. Until your time comes."

He turns his face down. All he can see is Kye's forehead and little pointy nose. She is quiet and breathing slowly. Michael chuckles faintly and puts a kiss on top of her head.

Her shoulders are exposed under the shimmering moonlight. They are icy cold, so the archangel puts his free hand on her left side and uses his power to warm her up. He finds it funny how something so out of this world that can burn and destroy megacities within minutes, now is used to warm up a tiny person. To Michael, however, this tiny person is more important than anything that has ever existed. In this world, or any other. This person lives permanently in his heart and truly belongs to him.

"What's happened to the angels you took from Alastair's facility?" Kye's sudden question breaks the fragile bubble.

Michael looks at her face. Her eyes are still closed, but her voice is clear and level. There is not a hint of sleepiness in it. She is demanding an answer from him.

"Nothing's happened to them." Michael drops his hand from her shoulder and leans back on the rear windshield. "They're not punished in any way if that's what you want to know. As I told Singer, they can go back there, just not right now."

"Why not?" Kye rubs her eyes and turns to face him.

"Their graces are almost depleted. Whatever Alastair did to them drained their life source so badly that they would die if not healed properly. The Resistance doesn't have the resources and knowledge to do that, so they have to stay with the garrison until they completely recover." Michael stares into the night, his mind wanders back to that day...

A late summer night

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