NOTE: THIS WAS ORIGINALLY POSTED TO WATTPAD.

It's been a few days now since I published the last chapter of Hello, Goodbye, and a couple of you have finished it already. Meanwhile, I'm over here, trying to wrap my head around the fact that it's over. Secrets I've been holding onto for months are now out in the open for all to read, and it's super weird and very exciting.

Things are about to get a little personal here, so just hang tight for a bit longer. As I mentioned at the start of this story, I lost my dad and uncle in 2021. It was a very hard year for my family, and after losing my dad, I fell into a really dark and deep depression. I actually ended up losing 20 lbs just from not eating (because that is how I handle my stress, unfortunately). When I wasn't trying to put on a brave face for family, friends, or work, I was sobbing in my bedroom, feeling completely broken.

And one night, as I was scrolling through TikTok of all things, I stumbled across a video of this woman cleaning a gravestone. And it fascinated me. I just kept wondering why someone would do that. What would their reasoning be to clean a gravestone of someone they never met? And I just couldn't get the thought out of my head. I was also watching a show called Manifest on Netflix, and one of the characters in the show is named Zeke. The name really stuck with me. There was also a guy at my work named Kiel, and I thought how interesting it would be if I connected these two names.

But my leading lady... her name alluded me for a looong time. She was originally Blakely. Then Collins. Then Blakely Collins. Then Collins Blakely. But nothing fit her. And then my dear friend Daniel suggested the name Emersyn. It was an instant match, and I began writing the story in November of 2021 (NaNoWriMo). I put it away for a while after that, but I found that I felt a lot better about my grief after writing it out on paper. The best form of therapy for me. And at the start of this year, I worked really hard to add about 65,000 words to what I already had, finishing the story up.

The character of Mona was a very fun one to write. Originally, she had no name. She was just some woman who Kiel had a one night stand with. He didn't even remember her. But a song by Celine Dion changed everything. And thus, Mona was born. Beautiful, sweet Mona who made a lot of mistakes all for what she believed was the greater good of the people she loved. So imperfect, but my goodness, I loved her. I debated a long time about whether to add her into the story, or keep Zeke's mom ambiguous. And I am so glad I changed it. Mona added more to the story than I could've ever imagined. She's one of my favorite characters.

Emersyn really pulled me out of a super dark place, and I will always be grateful to her. Her grief helped me to understand my own. It really never does go away. Not completely. But just like my girl, you just learn to live with it. Like a scar. But regardless, I hope this story helps any of you suffering with loss. It gets better, my dears. One day at a time. And allow yourself to have those moments when they come. It's been over two years for me, and I still have them from time to time. I'll always miss my dad and my uncle. But this story came from them, and I like to think they sent it to me as a way of helping me come to terms with my own grief. Hopefully they'd be proud of the final product. I know I am.

So personally, this story is dedicated to my dad and my Uncle Brad. But it's also dedicated to my Uncle Tim, who was a big inspiration to Kiel's character. I love him to the moon and back, and I'm so lucky to always have him on my side. But for here on Wattpad, I dedicate this story to the four people who read to support me and my writing. The four people I like to think I've developed friendships with on here. I will mention them on the next chapter, because I don't want to spoil the story for them.

But thank you again to all of you for getting to this point. This story really is like a piece of my soul, so I always appreciate the people who reached out with their comments. It means the world to me. Especially with this story.

Okay, that's enough for now. I will be giving more information about my next book, which I'm hoping to start releasing this fall, very soon. So stay tuned for that. And thanks again, for all the support. You beautiful people are truly the best!

XOXO,

~Aly

Behind the Scenes

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