More ghosts, she thought as her jaw hit the floor. It had to be. Her mouth hung open as she stared at him, watching as he jumped to his feet but didn't move any closer to her. No, not a ghost. You couldn't be haunted by someone who was still alive. A hallucination? That was the only way she could think to explain it. But even if he was a hallucination, she couldn't stop staring. Didn't want to stop staring, whether it meant she was crazy or not. They stared at each other for a few moments, and Emersyn had so much she wanted to say. But she was scared it wasn't real. Scared she was imagining everything.

"Emersyn," Zeke said, and the sound of her name on his lips sent shivers up her spine. "I know I probably shouldn't be here. I know I'm probably the last person you wanted to see. But I couldn't leave without seeing you one more time. I tried to. I got all the way to the ferry terminal and then turned around, because leaving the island without saying goodbye to you felt wrong."

Her heart was like a set of drums in her chest as she continued to stare at him, too afraid to blink in case this really was all in her head. He ran his fingers through his thick blond curls and let out a breath. And she visualized her touching those curls herself. Sliding her fingers through them and feeling their softness beneath her palms. This was a dream. It had to be. She leaned against the wall for support, because she suddenly felt dizzy from the stress of the day. And now this was happening, and she had no idea what to make of it.

"Please don't be mad at me for breaking in," he pleaded with her. "I got here a few hours ago, and I saw the door was open. I figured I'd just wait for you on your couch, but I didn't expect you to be gone so long. I'm sorry. And I know you hate me. You have every right to hate me after all the lies I told you this summer. But I wanted you to know I still love you. I will always love you. You're it for me, Em. There will never be anyone else. And it was super shitty of me to not trust you. I know I should have, and I'll never be able to say sorry enough. But I still love you, and this whole thing with you not talking to me is killing me."

Her mind was cruel. Too cruel. And she knew she should look away. Avert her eyes from this painful illusion that only her brain could conjure up. But she felt like a mosquito staring at one of those bug zappers. The light was too bright. Too warm. And it didn't matter if it killed her or not. She just couldn't look away. Tears stung her eyes, and she laughed inside at the idea that she would ever run out of tears. She knew she would cry for this man for the rest of her life, and that fact made her want to curl up and die. It was so unbelievably painful. She blinked a few times, expecting the illusion to disappear. But it didn't. He didn't go anywhere. He just stayed a few feet in front of her, staring at her like she was the most beautiful creature on the planet. And he knew all about beautiful creatures.

He took a tentative step forward, but she took a step back, concerned for her own sanity. At what this hallucination could do to her if she let him get too close. "Please, Emersyn," he whispered, his voice shaky with suppressed tears. "I'll do anything. Just please take me back, and I will be honest with you about everything from here on out. I'll never this leave island again, if that's what it takes. I just want us to be together again, because I was never happier than when I was with you."

A tear slid down her freckled cheek, waking her up from her stupor. "Are you real?" she finally asked, her voice sounding foreign to her own ears. "Or is this in my head? Because I can't take much more of this. I can't."

He shook his head, taking another step forward. "I'm real. Everything about this is real." And she didn't care if he was lying or not. Didn't care if he was a figment of her imagination. His words were enough for her. She rushed to him, threw her arms around his neck, and pressed her lips hard against his. He stumbled back, surprised. Clearly, he was not expecting this sort of reaction to him being in her house. But in case he was real, she didn't want to miss her chance. Her mouth moved against his, and after a few moments he gave into the kiss, matching her movements like a dance. And it was like she'd been walking around half dead for years, and his kiss was breathing life back into her soul. It was everything she needed.

Her fingers dug into his hair, making sure it felt like it did before. Warm and soft, with a gentle bounce beneath her fingertips. He groaned against her lips, and her body was engulfed in flames at the sound. Please let this be real, she thought to herself as he held her to him, merging their bodies together so that they were like the original humans in the ancient stories. Two heads, four arms, four legs, and one beating heart. One soul. She didn't know how long she was kissing him like that, but she knew she was too afraid to pull away. Too scared that if she did, he would disappear forever. And that would destroy her. She was already hanging on by a thread. She really didn't need that last push to insanity.

But when he pulled away, she was pleased when he didn't disappear. He was still there, looking at her with those heavy, light blue eyes that she loved so much. His lips curved up into a sweet smile as he brushed his warm hand against her cheek. And it was this action, finally, that proved in her mind he wasn't going to disappear. That he wasn't an illusion. "Oh my God," he said as she stared into his eyes, his pink lips already swollen from the ferocity of their kiss. "Are you real?"

She laughed and buried her face in his chest, sighing contentedly. This was happening. She couldn't believe it. "I'm so sorry for everything I said in the hospital," she said as she looked back up at him, and she saw his face soften and felt his breath hitch. "I could never hate you. I should've never said that. I love you, Zeke. I will always love you." Her words brought fresh tears to his eyes, and before they could fall, she jumped up and kissed him again. His hands held her face to him, and it was almost like he was afraid she'd turn to smoke if he let her go.

She pulled away, her eyes alight with joy as she took him in. He looked better than the last time she saw him, but he still didn't look right. As if reading her mind, he sighed and said, "I'm not giving up. This battle is far from over. I've been checking the graveyard every day, and now that I'm staying, I'll keep doing it. I'll go through them all over again if I have to. But I will find him."

She slid her fingers through his hair again, a knowing smile spreading across her face. He quirked an eyebrow up at her, and she whispered, "Can I show you something? Something I haven't shown anyone else?" He nodded his head and reluctantly let her go so she could run up to her room and grab what she needed to show him. It was hiding under her pillow. She shook her head, still unable to believe the answers they were seeking all summer had been sitting under her head all summer long. Her fingers found the hard blue green cover and pulled it out, and she would swear it glowed. Like a light from the heavens was shining on it. And maybe it was.

She held the journal to her chest like a shield as she ran back down the stairs. Part of her was afraid he'd be gone when she returned, like her grandma had been. But when she turned the corner and saw him standing in her living room, her heart swelled with joy. His face lit up when she walked in the room, and before she could say anything, he pulled her in for another kiss. It was hard and fast, leaving her momentarily dizzy. He grinned when he pulled away and smiled sheepishly. "I will never get tired of doing that."

She laughed and intertwined her fingers with his. "Me either. But put it on pause for a little longer. This is really important." He nodded his head and let her pull him to the couch. When they sat down, he slid a warm arm across her shoulder, and she snuggled into the crook of his arm, like she'd done so many times before. A perfect fit. Like they'd been cut from the same cloth. Her face warmed as she opened the journal to the first readable page. One of the few written in pen. "I found this earlier this summer."

Recognition lit his face. "You told me about this!" he exclaimed, sliding the arm that wasn't around her shoulder around her waist to pull her closer. "This is your mom's journal, right?"

She nodded her head. "That's what I thought it was. She used pencil for most of the entries, so a good amount of them have faded. But there are a few she wrote in pen. This is the first page. Here, you read it." She handed him the journal, and watched his eyes skim the two paragraphs about the lighthouse and the magical kiss under the stars. A tiny frown formed on his face, probably because he thought he was reading about her mother's affair. When he was done reading, she flipped to the second readable page, where MT wrote about how they made love on the beach for the first time. And then the last page, when she realized she was pregnant and had her heart broken before deciding to have an abortion.

"This is so awful," he said as he closed the journal, and she nodded her head. "I'm so sorry, Emersyn. I know how much your mom's words hurt."

She nodded her head. "Yeah, they did hurt. A lot. I spent the whole summer thinking my mom had cheated on my dad. But I confronted her about it tonight, and she denied everything. Then she said the journal wasn't even hers. So I asked her who it belonged to. She told me it belonged to a girl named Mona Thatcher."

His head jerked toward her so fast that she swore he got whiplash. "What?" She watched his jaw drop. "What do you mean it belongs to Mona Thatcher?"

"My mom said she knew Mona when she came to Coupeville about twenty years ago," Emersyn explained, sliding her fingers over the journal's cover. "They were good friends. It was through my mom that your mom met your dad."

"Ed?" Zeke asked, and she loved the hope in his voice. She couldn't wait to tell him the full story. "Oh my God. Em, this is a huge break!"

She nodded her head. "It is. But it's not Ed. I thought it was a name too, but it was initials. Ed actually stood for ED. I asked my mom who ED was, and she told me that it stands for Ezekiel Daniels."

Zeke's eyes widened. "Ezekiel Daniels? She... she named me after him?" Emersyn nodded her head, smiling. "Oh my God. This... I can't...." He pulled away from her and got back to his feet, his fingers finding their way into his hair as he paced back and forth in her living room. He looked so much like Kiel that, once again, she felt stupid for not figuring it out sooner. "We know who he is now. I've wondered my whole life. And now I know. So tomorrow, we'll go to the graveyard and see about getting records for an Ezekiel Daniels."

"He won't be there," she said, interrupting his frantic pacing. He stopped and stared at her, his brow furrowed in confusion.

"What do you mean he won't be there?" he asked, the hope draining from his voice like air out of a balloon. "He has to be there."

She stood up and approached him, holding his hands in her own. "Zeke, your dad... he's not in the graveyard because he's... not dead."

The color drained from his face as he stumbled backward. "What? No, that's not possible. My mom said he was dead. That he died before I was born." He was shaking his head, as if trying to tell her that there was no way this could be true.

"She lied to you," Emersyn said simply as she shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know why she'd lie to you about something like that, but she did. I know she did."

"Then... who is he?" he said, finally asking the million dollar, potentially lifesaving question. "If he's not dead, then where has he been all this time? Where is he now?"

"He didn't even know about you until tonight," she said, answering his question. "We actually spent the whole night looking for you on the ferries, hoping to catch you before you left the island." He raised his eyebrows at her, and she knew he still wasn't getting it. "Zeke, it's Kiel. Kiel is your dad."

The silence in the room was palpable as he processed everything she'd told him. He ran his fingers through his blond curls again, gripping them in the same way Kiel did earlier in the night when she'd told him this same story. Zeke's eyes were wild, and his breathing was coming out in ragged gasps now. She slid her arms around his middle and kissed him gently on the lips, hoping she could calm him down. But he was shaking, and she couldn't tell if it was from shock or suppressed rage. Maybe a little bit of both?

"Where is he now?" he asked, his voice shaking ever so slightly.

"At his house with my mom," she said softly, touching his hair in the way she knew he liked. "And he's devastated. He thinks you're gone, Zeke. We spent the whole night trying to find you, and when we couldn't, we all assumed you'd left us forever. Last I saw Kiel, he was crying on his way up his front porch steps."

"I want to see him," he said, and she nodded her head. It was definitely time to put poor Kiel out of his misery. "Come with me?"

She laughed. "Are you serious right now?" His eyebrows shot up into his hair, and a tiny smirk formed on his lips. "Okay, first of all, I am not letting you out of my sight again. Maybe not ever. And second, there is no way, after a summer of looking for this man, that I'm going to let you guys have your moment without me. I'm just as much a part of this as you are, bud. Deal with it."

He threw his head back and laughed, and she relished in the beautiful sound. A sound that, an hour ago, she believed she would never hear again. "Okay," he said, as he slid his fingers in hers again. He pressed his forehead to hers, smiling. "Let's go meet my dad."

It was after two in the morning as they left her house and made their way to Kiel's place. A soft breeze was stroking her cheeks, the wind blowing her hair gently as they walked in silence down the street. She worried that it was too late, and that they'd have to wait until morning. But when they got to the house, they saw all the lights were on. And her mom's car was still in the driveway. He froze as they approached the front door, and his eyes found hers in the dark. "Is it stupid to say that I'm kind of scared?" he whispered. "I mean, I've been living with this guy for months. I already kind of looked at him as a father figure."

She smiled at him and rubbed her thumb against his. "This is different," she said as he grinned nervously. "This is the real deal, Zeke. Your dad is in there." He averted his eyes from hers and stared at the front door. The only thing separating a father and son from a reunion that had been a lifetime in the making. "Don't keep him waiting any longer," she said softly, and it was just what he needed to strengthen his resolve. He took a breath and wrapped his hand around the front door handle, pushing it open.

Kiel and her mom were sitting in the living room when they walked in. Her mom had one hand on his quivering shoulder as he held his head in his hands and bawled. Seeing the man she loved so much and had looked up to her whole life broken in such a way made Emersyn's heart ache. But she knew it would be over soon. Makayla glanced up at them when they walked through the door, and her breath hitched as her hands flew over her mouth in surprise. Kiel lifted his head up and, with bright red, puffy eyes, looked up into the face of his son. His jaw fell open, and she knew he was wondering if Zeke was real or not too. Like she had.

Kiel stood up and slowly approached Zeke, who seemed to be frozen in place in the doorway. They stared at each other in an awkward silence, neither one knowing what to do or say. Emersyn had imagined them finding Zeke's dad a thousand times over the course of the summer, but never once in her wildest dreams did she think it would be like this. That it would be Kiel.

"So," Zeke said, breaking the silence, and she could see a mischievous smile spreading across his reddening face. "Should I call you dad, daddy, or pops?"

Kiel let off a tearful laugh, and Emersyn watched as every muscle in his body relaxed all at once. He reached forward and grabbed Zeke, pulling him into a tight embrace. Makayla walked over to Emersyn, her mouth still hanging open in surprise. She turned to her daughter, about to ask her how she'd found him. But then she shook her head and watched the beautiful reunion taking place before them. Because the how didn't matter. All that mattered was that father and son were together at last. Her mother placed an arm across Emersyn's shoulder, a bright smile on her face. A smile that matched her own. And they watched the two men as they continued to hold onto each other. Neither one wanted to release the other, and Emersyn knew in that moment that they never really would.

Chapter Thirty-Nine

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