It took Emersyn two more weeks before she finally finished her letter to her mom. She debated for several days on whether or not she should send it. To her, it felt more like her own journal entry. Personal and raw. And like the letter she received from her grandma's lawyer after she died willing her the house, she carried the letter with her in her pocket everywhere she went. It was addressed and stamped, and all she had to do was slip it in a mailbox. A few times she did put it in her mailbox, only to go back outside a couple minutes later to retrieve it. She didn't know if she would ever be ready to actually send it, but she always had it with her. Just in case.

Zeke didn't bring up the letter or her mom at all, and she was grateful for it. Even though she was happy she'd talked to him about it, she didn't want to dwell on her feelings. And he seemed to know that about her without having to be told. That was what was so special about him. To her, she'd felt like she'd known him for years. Like they'd spent their whole lives together and not just a few months. She was closer to him than she'd ever been to anyone else in her life. Her heart beat ten times faster when she was with him, and yet she felt so at ease. He made her feel comfortable. Safe. Happy.

It was the end of July when she realized she'd been spending so much time with Zeke that she was missing out on quality time with her two best friends. So she planned a nice hiking adventure together. All four of them. She wanted her friends to get to know her new boyfriend. Although the word boyfriend just didn't feel right to her. He was so much more than that already. Her other half, maybe? Her soulmate? She didn't know how to explain it. Didn't know if she could. How do you explain such a feeling to someone who'd never felt it before?

She checked the weather the day of the hike and saw it was going to be a perfect 85-degree afternoon. Donning a pair of ripped dark blue denim shorts, a red and blue patterned flowy crop top, and a pair of black hiking boots, she left her house to meet up with Zeke, Avery, and Axel at Ebey's Landing. Avery and Axel were already there when she arrived, and of course Avery was dressed in her black skinny jeans and a black tank-top. Not at all the color of summer, and she knew her friend would be complaining about being hot within minutes. Axel was dressed in baggy jeans and a loose-fitting t-shirt with a hole in the left shoulder, his long hair pulled back in a sleek ponytail. He, at least, was dressed a little cooler, although she still thought he could've done better for a hike.

"Well, don't you look cute," Avery said, a little smirk playing across her plum-colored lips.

"And you look like a gothic princess ready to die of heat exhaustion," she retorted. Axel laughed. "Seriously, you don't have anything lighter to wear? Even a gray would've been better than what you've got going on here. You're going to sweat your ass off in that."

Avery shrugged her shoulders. "It's my aesthetic, and it's dying. I've got a few more years of being myself before I have to conform to a teacher's dress code. Leave me alone."

Emersyn rolled her eyes. "Whatever you say." She pulled her phone out of her pocket, checking to see if Zeke had messaged her. Strange. He was late, which was so unlike him. But she wasn't too worried. It was only five minutes after their scheduled meet up of one in the afternoon. Maybe he got held up. The three friends sat on the beach, relaxing in the summer sun as they waited for Zeke to arrive. Five minutes turned into ten, and ten turned into an hour. She was starting to get really worried, and had just pulled her phone out to call him when she heard his voice call out from about twenty feet away. She glanced up and saw him waving frantically at them, and Emersyn felt the stress evaporate from her chest.

But when he got closer, she could tell something wasn't right. Avery and Axel wouldn't be able to see it, because they didn't know him like she did. But she could see the dimness in his eyes. The half-smile he gave them when he approached the group. The paleness of his skin. He looked like a walking corpse.

"Sorry I'm late," he said breathlessly, and he wrapped an arm around Emersyn and kissed her swiftly on the cheek. Normally such an action would make her heart flutter, but today it just worried her. He was off. "I was relaxing at the house and fell asleep. Guess I overslept." His hand was rubbing the back of his neck anxiously, and she could tell he genuinely felt bad for being late. But she didn't care about that. She only cared that he looked so tired. "Are we ready?"

Axel yawned and leaned back in the sand, his long hair collecting grains to take with him later. "Do we have to go on a hike? It's so hot. Perfect day to swim and relax at the beach." Avery wrinkled her nose, and Axel groaned. "Oh right. Of course. The Wicked Witch of the West over here can't get wet. She'll melt."

Avery reached for a small stick and struck her brother in the arm with it, causing him to yelp out in pain. "You're an idiot. Did you bring a swimsuit? Because I didn't bring a swimsuit. And Emersyn doesn't look like she brought a swimsuit. Zeke, did you bring one?" He shook his head, a tiny smile playing across his light pink lips. "Well, jeeze, if no one brought a swimsuit, then I guess we can't go swimming, can we Axel?"

"We could swim in our clothes," he suggested. Emersyn thought back to the last time she went swimming in her clothes. How close Zeke and her and had come to kissing that day. How many times they'd kissed since then. The idea brought heat to her cheeks, and she was thankful for the hot sun that helped to cover up her emotions. "Come on," he whined, batting his eyes at the group like a sad puppy. "Please?"

Emersyn didn't really want to swim, and so she was thankful when Zeke began rolling his shoulder and said, "I pulled a muscle in my shoulder last night at work, and it's still pretty achy. If you guys want to swim, that's fine by me. But I'm going to stay out of the water for now. I can just chill on the beach and—"

"Oh no," Avery said as she placed her hands on either side of her face in mock horror. "Looks like we can't swim today." Axel made a face, and she rolled her eyes and kicked him softly in the shin. "Get up, lazybones. Come on, we're going on a hike."

As excited as Emersyn was about this event this morning, now she couldn't wait for it to be over. She wanted to get Zeke alone. To ask him what was wrong. Was it really his shoulder that was bothering him? Or was he just saying that because he didn't want to go swimming? She'd seen him look like this before. A few times, after coming back from the city on Tuesday, he looked like he'd been hit by a truck. Or come down with an awful flu. But lately he'd seemed to be doing better. Today though... today was she was worried about him. She just got the sense that something was wrong.

But if something was wrong with him, he sure didn't act like it. The four of them made their way up a hiking trail, and just like the first time she took him there, he got excited at every little creature he saw. A few times he even stopped to give a few facts about a lizard or a bird they stumbled across. Avery seemed really impressed by his knowledge, but Axel just whined about being hot and bored. She should've known better than to plan this kind of thing with him. He was not a very physical kind of person. Preferred to sit around and write music than go out and exercise.

After a while though, Emersyn started suspecting that there might be an ulterior motive to all Zeke's random stops to talk about animals. She noticed it when he crouched down to point out something about a snake they found slithering in the brush. He seemed breathless. His words were coming out of his mouth heavily, and with each sentence he had to suck in several gulps of air. She thought back to all the times they'd gone out together, and not once could she remember him ever sounding so exhausted. So out of shape.

An hour into the hike, and she finally couldn't take it anymore. While Avery and Axel ran off to use the bathroom, she turned to Zeke, her eyes filled with concern, and said, "Hey, is everything okay with you?"

He blinked, seemingly surprised by her question. "What? Yeah. Why?"

She bit her lip and shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know. You just seem off today. Like you're sick or something. You look kind of pale, and you're really out of breath. Guess I'm a little worried about you."

He smiled sweetly at her and leaned down to plant a small kiss on her lips. When he pulled away, he looked sheepish. Guilty. "Busted." She raised her eyebrows at him, waiting for him to explain. "It's not a big deal. I think I'm just coming down with a bug or something. But I'll be all right."

She frowned, still unsure about his answer. "Why didn't you say something sooner? I could've postponed this. We didn't have to do this today."

He sighed and shook his head. "Because it was important to you. You want me to get to know your friends. And I want that too. And I feel a little guilty that I've been hogging you all summer. Not that I have any regrets," he added quickly, and she grinned. He slipped his hands down to hers and intertwined their fingers together. "I've loved every moment I've spent with you. But I want us to have fun with Avery and Axel. And who knows? Maybe they'll become my friends too."

She wanted to believe him. She really did. But even though his smile was sweet and honest, his eyes were telling a different story. They were hidden behind a veil of deceit. And for the first time since she met him, she had the terrible feeling he was lying to her. She wanted to press the issue further, but Axel and Avery had just come out of the bathrooms, and she didn't want to argue in front of her friends. So she decided to let the subject go for the time being, with the intention of bringing it up later.

But later never came. After their hike ended, and Avery and Axel said their goodbyes, Zeke pressed his lips gently against hers and told her he had something he had to take care of at the house. He didn't specify, and once again she felt like there was something he wasn't telling her. It was disconcerting, and she sincerely hoped he wasn't lying. She tossed and turned all night, unable to get the image of those lying eyes out of her thoughts. It wasn't until she promised herself to talk to him in the morning about her concerns that she finally fell asleep. And the next morning, she was determined to keep her promise. She took a shower, got dressed, did her makeup, and walked over to Kiel and Zeke's place.

She found them outside loading the truck with supplies they'd need for work for the day. Determination breathing into her soul, she approached Zeke, who was sliding some drywall into the bed of Kiel's old Ford. She was fully expecting to see him looking just as pale and sickly as he did the day before. But he when he locked eyes with hers, she was surprised to find he was back to normal. His eyes were warm and alive again, and his flesh looked like someone had painted it back to life. Somehow this didn't settle her anxiety. It made it worse.

"Well hello, beautiful," he said as he walked over to her, wiping his dirty hands on his pants before reaching out to her. She allowed him to pull her to him, but when he pressed his lips to hers, she didn't return the kiss. He pulled back, eyes furrowed in concern, and said, "Is everything okay?"

No, everything was not okay. But she didn't know why. She just felt like something was wrong. And even though the Zeke standing before her in that moment looked fine, she couldn't get the image of him from the day before out of her mind. "I just wanted to check on you," she said simply, not sure how to voice her concerns now that he looked normal again. "You didn't look right yesterday, and I wanted to check on you and make sure you were okay."

He gave her a small grin and tucked her hair behind her ear. "You are so sweet. Thank you for coming to check on me. I'm fine though. Much better today. Probably just a bug, like I said. Nothing to worry about." And there it was again. Lying eyes. She shook her head and took a step back, surprising him. "Emersyn, what's wrong with you? What is going on?"

"Hey Zeke, we gotta get rolling out of here," Kiel called, as he stepped out of the garage. "Pipe burst in one of houses on Maple. Flooded the downstairs. Tenants called. Emergency situation." He stopped when he saw her, and his face lit up in a pleasant smile. He waved. "Good morning, Em! Come to lend a helping hand for the day?"

She gave him a tight smile and shook her head. "No, not today. I have some things I have to handle in town. Maybe another time though." Her eyes fell back to Zeke, who was looking at her nervously. She pressed her hand to his chest and took a step back. "Talk to you later."

"Wait, Em, stop," Zeke said desperately, and she froze and glanced back up at him, her lips pursed in anger. "I... don't know what to say."

She folded her arms over her chest. "You'd tell me, right? If anything was wrong?" She watched him closely for signs that he was lying. But he didn't say anything this time. Didn't even crack a smile. He just nodded his head, and she frowned, unable to read the gesture. "Okay. I guess I'll talk to you later tonight. Have a good day at work."

"I love you," he said desperately, and despite her worries, she couldn't help but smile at his words. A wave of relief washed over him, and he smiled and pulled her into a sweet kiss. "I'm okay. I promise. Just a bug, like I said." Kiel hopped in the truck behind them, and Zeke sighed. "I have to go. See you tonight? I'll cook chicken."

She rolled her eyes but nodded her head. "Yes, I'll see you tonight. Love you too." And with one final kiss on the cheek, Zeke jumped in the passenger seat, and Emersyn watched as her two favorite people in the world drove away, leaving her with so many unanswered questions and unfounded fears.

Maybe she was being ridiculous. He looked fine. And people did get 24-hour bugs. It wasn't in the realm of impossibility. She frowned and sat down on one of Kiel's pieces of lawn furniture, giving herself some time to reflect. Zeke had never lied to her before. And he promised everything was okay. So what else was going on? Why was she feeling so uncertain? She leaned back in the chair and heard the sound of paper crinkling in her pocket. Sighing, she pulled the envelope out and stared at it. Was this it? The dead weight in her pocket that had been wearing her down for days now? The unsent letter to her mom? Was this the reason she was feeling the way she was feeling? Could she be projecting her feelings of insecurity onto Zeke somehow?

There was only one way to find out. Taking a deep breath, she walked over to Kiel's mailbox, slid the envelope inside, and raised the little red flag. Then, before she could reconsider, she turned around and made her way back home, hoping the feeling of uncertainty in her heart would dissipate now that the letter was finally sent.

Chapter Twenty-Nine

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