He arrived at 4:30pm on the dot the next day, and his blue eyes lacked their normal cheer. Anxiety was written all across his face, and he seemed paler than normal. When she opened the door to meet him, she was surprised to see a tight grin across his lips instead of his usual ten thousand watt smile. "Hey," he said, and even his voice sounded off. Shaky. It was like someone had replaced the Zeke she knew with a replica made entirely of ants. He was nervous. That much was clear. "Are you ready to head out?"

She nodded her head, and together they walked to her car, neither one of them speaking a word. After checking behind her, she pulled out of her driveway and onto the road, heading in the direction of Oak Harbor. They drove in total silence, and a few times she looked over and saw him staring down at his fidgeting fingers. One of the stoplights turned red, and she took the opportunity to reach over and grab one of his hands in what she hoped would be a comforting gesture and not a romantic one.

He closed his eyes and sucked in a breath, and she felt something flip in the pit of her stomach. "Everything is going to be fine," she said, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. He opened his eyes and looked up at her, and she grinned when she saw him relax just a bit. "Seriously. You have nothing to worry about. Worst outcome is Vance isn't your dad, right? And if that's the case, we'll just keep looking. No harm done. But we will find him, Zeke. I promise."

He nodded his head slowly, but he didn't say anything. She wondered if he could, or if he was so nervous, he'd lost the ability to speak altogether. The light turned green, and she continued on her way to the city. His leg was moving up and down, and it was making her nervous. For a moment she considered turning on the radio. To have something fill the silence that was starting to make her anxious as well. But then a thought occurred to her. The conversation she'd had with her friends in the graveyard just a couple days ago. It tugged on her brain, and she wondered if she should even ask the question she wanted to ask. If it was even a good time.

"Can I ask you something kind of personal?" she asked hesitantly. The theories her friends had come up with danced around her thoughts, and she had to have some answers.

"Sure," he replied, and she was relieved when his leg stopped bobbing up and down. He turned his whole body toward her, giving her his full attention.

"So Axel and Avery were in the graveyard with me the other day," she said, thinking maybe she should start at the beginning so she wouldn't sound like a crazy person. "They were helping me clean the stones. And they were wondering why you weren't there." Out of the corner of her eye, she could see his body tense up. Her fingers gripped the steering wheel a little harder as she struggled to ask the questions she wanted to ask.

"Okay?" he said, his tone urging her to continue. She swallowed hard, flexing her fingers a couple times. How do you ask someone if they're in recovery? "Emersyn, it's okay," he said, and she bit her lip anxiously. "Seriously. You can ask me anything."

She nodded her head. "Well, I told them you always head to the city on Monday, and that you don't return until Tuesday. Which, you know... piqued their interest. So they asked me what you were doing in the city. And when I told them I didn't know, they started throwing out... well, theories."

He shifted awkwardly in his seat, but his eyes stayed glued onto hers. "What were some of their theories?" he asked, and she could hear something in his voice. Fear, perhaps? Maybe dread? She couldn't quite put a pin in it, but it was clear he did not like the direction the conversation was taking.

She shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know. They were kind of silly." She should stop talking. Let it go. It's not like it was her business what he did in the city on Mondays anyway. And she felt like she was pushing him for answers he didn't want to give. But his eyes were piercing into her, and she knew she couldn't take it back now. She had to ask. "So I just wanted to know... you'd tell me if you had a problem, right?" He blinked, confused. She sucked in a breath and just spit it out. "Are you an addict, Zeke?"

The tension was so thick she could cut it with a knife. Her heart was hammering in her chest so hard she was afraid it might bust through her sternum. He stared at her, and she saw his mouth was hanging open in... surprise? A few moments of silence filled the car. And then Zeke startled her by laughing. Really laughing. "Are you serious?" he asked, and heat rose in her cheeks in embarrassment. "Really, Em? So the main theory is that I'm a drug addict? Or an alcoholic?"

She was mortified. "Well, I mean... yeah. You said you can't drink, right?" He was still laughing, and she was burning with humiliation. "It was just a theory. Sorry."

His laughter died down a bit and was replaced with a kind smile. "No, I'm sorry. For what it's worth, I'm not laughing at you. I'm laughing at the idea that your friends thought I could be a drug addict. Which, let the record state, I am not a drug addict. Nor am I an alcoholic. I smoked pot once in college and hated it. And alcohol just goes against my diet, so I don't drink. But I was never much of a drinker anyway, so I don't miss it all that much."

Relief washed over her, and in an instant, she felt ridiculous for even considering that stupid idea. Of course, he wasn't an addict. "Well, that's good to know," she said, because she wasn't sure what else she should say.

"Now I'm curious though," he said, a smile tugging at his lips as he leaned back against the passenger window. "What were some of their other theories?" She shook her head, the warmth still painting her cheeks from the last one she spoke aloud. "Oh, come on! You can't just leave me hanging like that! What were some of the other ones? I need to know!"

She shook her head. "Honestly, that was the main one." And while it was the main theory her friends had come up with, there was still one question left unanswered that she wanted to know. But again, she was unsure if she should even ask it.

"Emersyn," he whined, and she noticed his bottom lip extending outward in an adorable pout. "Please? One more, and then I swear, I'll drop it. Just one more—"

"Do you have a girlfriend in Seattle?" she interrupted loudly, startling both of them as they hit another red light.

He stared at her with eyes so wide it was like someone had taped them open. His smile slid off his face, and all that was left was shock and confusion. "What? Why?" he asked, and his lack of an answer worried her.

She shrugged her shoulders as she tapped the steering wheel. Her own anxious tick. "I don't know. That was another theory, I guess. Really the only other one. That you go to the city once a week to visit a girlfriend."

He didn't laugh that time. He just stared at her, and she was too anxious to look back at him. His fingers rubbed the back of his neck, and she frowned as she recognized his own anxious tick. "Emersyn...."

Why did she suddenly feel like she could cry? She breathed in deeply, hoping it would still her racing heart. "You know what?" she said, plastering a fake smile across her lips. "Never mind. Honestly, it was a really dumb discussion. I shouldn't have even brought it up."

"I don't have a girlfriend in Seattle," he said, and before she could reflect on his words, he added, "Or at all. I swear."

Relief flooded her entire being, the emotions from moments before evaporating from her like steam. She nodded her head in response, unsure of what else to say. But a smile was pulling at her lips now, and she wasn't sure she would be able to maintain her composure. He didn't have a girlfriend. He was totally single. Not that she had any chance with him. But still, at least she wasn't in love with some other girl's man. In love. Her heartbeat tripled at the thought, and again, she wished more than anything that he would love her back. But everything with him had to be complicated and confusing. One minute they were friends. The next they were... more? She didn't know.

Silence returned to the car after that as he stared out the window. He seemed sad somehow, and she wished she knew how to fix it. How to take back her questions. Or at least save the last one for a better time. She loved the jovial version of Zeke from a few moments before. But this version was just so melancholy. It was unlike him, and she didn't know how to handle it. All spring and summer he'd been so upbeat and joyful. He'd helped to bring light back into her own depressing life. And now, as they entered Oak Harbor, she wondered if all of that was about to end.

She'd thought about it a lot since the night before. What would happen if Vance was Zeke's father? He'd probably start spending more time with Sal. Getting to know him. Getting to know the rest of his family. Spending less and less time with her. Until he became nothing but a memory. Some guy she used to know before her life got real. Before everything changed again. Tears pricked her eyes, and for a moment she considered stopping the car. Telling him no. She'd changed her mind. She didn't want him to find out who his father was. Because she wanted to keep this thing going. Whatever it was. She couldn't stand the idea of their time together coming to a screeching halt.

They pulled into the parking lot of Sal's bakery, and the both of them just sat in the car, unable to move due to their own separate anxieties. Emersyn took a shaky breath, then turned in his direction and said, "Are you going to abandon me completely if you find out Vance was your dad?" She meant for the question to come out teasingly, but her voice was far too high pitched for that.

She expected him to be surprised by her question. But he didn't seem to be. He just shook his head. "No. I don't think I could abandon you if I tried." What the heck did that mean? Her mind reeled at his answer, and she hated how many more questions she had in her head. But before she had a chance to ask them, he sucked in a nervous breath and said, "Welp. Guess we should do this now." She nodded her head, pushing her questions out of her mind as she followed Zeke into the bakery.

Chapter Twenty-Two

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