She'd left shortly after dinner that night and had gone home with nothing but a small container of leftover salmon and a chipped heart. Sleep had completely eluded her, and so she'd spent half the night in the studio painting a teddy bear and a train against a child's gravestone on a white canvas. And when she could no longer hold the brush, she went to bed and poured over the same journal, tearing through penciled pages in the hopes of making out anything else. She fell asleep with the journal in her hand, and when she woke up she found it was lying open on the floor. Another sleepless night. She let off a giant yawn and looked over at the clock. It was ten in the morning, which meant she'd only been asleep for a few hours. For a moment, she considered rolling back over and allowing dreamland to take her again. But she knew Zeke wouldn't be working in the graveyard that day. He always went to the city Monday mornings. So it was just going to be her. And she couldn't let him down.

She slid out of bed and made her way to the shower, hoping the steaming hot water would wake her up. It didn't, so she vowed to get herself a cup of coffee from her favorite coffee stand before heading to the graveyard. She didn't even bother with her makeup, and put on a pair of ripped jean shorts and an old paint stained t-shirt with her flip-flops. Usually she would try to look pretty. But Zeke wasn't going to be there anyway. And besides, he'd made it perfectly clear that nothing could happen between them. So she had no choice but to let it go.

After hooking up the wagon full of cleaning supplies to her bike, and ordering a triple shot iced hazelnut caramel macchiato from the coffee shop, she headed over to the graveyard. The iced coffee helped wake her up a little bit, but she still didn't feel quite herself. As she pulled into the graveyard, she felt her phone go off in her pocket. When she pulled it out, she saw a picture of Avery's face on the screen. Sighing, she slid her finger over the green circle and held it up to her ear. "Hey," she said, and she hated how sleepy she sounded. Maybe she should've gone back to bed after all. "What's up?"

"Hey, hey, hey," Avery said in a much cheerier voice than Emersyn expected. She grimaced at the sound and took another big gulp of her iced coffee. "Just calling to see what you were up to today?"

Emersyn rode her bike into the graveyard and parked it right next to a row of unclean headstones. She held the phone up to her ear as she began pulling out cleaning supplies. "Oh, you know. Just... cleaning some marble stones. Same as always. What's up?"

"Again at the graveyard?" Avery asked, and Emersyn did not like where this conversation was going already. But Avery surprised her by saying, "Do you need any help? I'm done with school, and Axel and I are bored out of our minds."

Emersyn wasn't expecting her friends to offer to help, but she couldn't deny that she could use the assistance. Especially since she knew Zeke wasn't going to be coming. "Actually, yeah," she replied, unloading one of the buckets and making her way to the hose so she could fill it with water before dragging it along with her. "That would be really great. Are you sure that's what you want to do though? I mean... graveyard...?"

"If it's good enough for you, then it's good enough for us," Avery said, and Emersyn smiled. "Okay, we'll head your way in a few minutes. Hope you have enough sponges or brushes or whatever the fuck you use."

Emersyn laughed into the phone. "I'll throw a few extra in just for you, my darling," she said.

"Make sure you get them extra sudsy," Avery said with a giggle before hanging up the phone. Emersyn shook her head, grinning, and threw a few extra soft bristled brushes into the bucket of water. Avery and Axel arrived about half an hour later, and by that time she was already halfway through one gravestone. She hadn't really expected them to want to help her, but they both dove right in. After explaining the process, and how important it was that they be very careful with their scrubbing, the three of them got to work. Emersyn was still horribly tired, but having her friends there to keep her company was doing wonders at keeping her awake. Much better than the coffee had done anyway.

"So you do this every day?" Axel asked, and it was clear he was not finding anything enjoyable in her summer project. She nodded her head, and he made a face like something rotten was sitting under his nose. "I don't know how the hell you do it, Em. Seriously, I've been here for an hour and I'm already bored out of my mind. What do you and lover boy talk about when you're doing this all day?"

She winced. The events of the day before were all still fresh in her mind. Sometimes, if she closed her eyes, she could still imagine how soft his lips felt on hers. Even if it was only for a fraction of a second. And she kept wondering how it would've been if he hadn't pulled away. If he would've actually kissed her. Would there have been chemistry? She wished she knew. "Okay, first of all, don't call him that. And second, I don't know. We just talk. He's really smart. You'd be amazed at all the things he knows about wildlife. And he loves to share his wealth of knowledge with me. But... yeah, I don't know. We just talk. It's easy."

"Someone sounds a bit snippy today," Axel teased, and she glared at him. "So I take it you haven't jumped the boy's bones yet?"

Irritated, she threw the soapy brush back into the water bucket, finding immense satisfaction when Axel jumped to avoid getting some of the grimy water on his clothes. "No, as a matter of fact, I have not. I've said it before. It's not like that with Zeke." No matter how much she wished it could be like that. "So can you please just stop? Let it go!"

The hurt on Axel's face was evident, but Emersyn didn't care. She was so tired of having this conversation with everyone. And she was even more tired of hiding her own feelings. Frustration was spreading throughout her soul like a disease, and maybe it would be better if she could just sleep. But she had to paint those gravestones. If she didn't, it felt like she was leaving an itch unscratched. She'd never experienced inspiration in such a way, and as much as she loved her art, she wished it would take a night off. Her eyes were always heavy with exhaustion now, and her body felt like it weighed ten extra pounds. She was just so damn tired.

"Emersyn, are you okay?" Avery asked, and the concern in her friend's voice made her tear up. She stared at the now clean gravestone, fighting the lump that was rising in her throat. "You just don't seem like yourself. Is everything all right? Because we're here for you. You have to know that."

She did know that. And she wanted to tell them all that was wrong with her. How she was starting to think she was becoming obsessed with death. How if she stopped cleaning or painting the stones for a single second, she would think about her mom's journal. How the only person who seemed to take it all away didn't want to be with her in the way she wanted to be with him. It was all wrong, and she wanted to collapse on the ground and sleep for the rest of the day. In her entire life, she couldn't ever remember feeling so tired. Or so hurt.

Avery's gentle hand touched her arm, and for a moment, Emersyn thought she was going to cry. She thought about telling them everything. But the pain was so raw. Like a fresh patch of scraped skin. And she didn't think Avery or Axel would understand, because they had a family. They had each other. Emersyn had had a family once, but they were all gone now. And the only family she'd left had cut her so deep that she wasn't sure she would ever heal. So how could they ever understand what she was going through? But she had to give them some kind of explanation, or else they wouldn't drop it.

"Zeke is sending me a lot of mixed signals," she said finally, deciding to give them a portion of the truth instead of the whole thing. "One minute he seems into me, and the next minute he's telling me he can't start anything. It's all so confusing."

A sympathetic smile formed on Avery's lips. "And you really like him, huh?" she asked.

Emersyn nodded her head. "Yeah. I guess I do." The admission wasn't really all that shocking. It was probably clear to everyone how she was feeling. She'd known for a while. It was just the admitting part that was hard for her. She'd experienced so much hurt and pain in her life. Sometimes the thought of opening herself up in any way was difficult. "So I don't know. I guess I'm just... I don't know."

Axel sat beside her, and she was pleased to see the hurt was gone from his eyes. "Sorry I teased you," he said, and she smiled up at him, resting her head against his broad shoulder. "I didn't know. Where is he anyway? Shouldn't he be here helping you do this?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "He always goes to Seattle on Monday mornings, and he doesn't come back until Tuesday afternoon or evening. I'm not sure what he's doing there though." The thought had bugged her, but she'd always been too nervous to ask him. Mostly because she was afraid she wouldn't like the answer.

"Maybe he's in some sort of recovery program out there, and his meetings are once a week," Avery suggested, and Emersyn wrinkled her nose at the idea. It was an interesting one, but after getting to know Zeke the way she had, she seriously doubted he was an addict. "Think about it, Em. That night at the bonfire, he said he couldn't drink with us. Maybe he's got a drinking problem."

"Or maybe he's seeing some girl in the city," Axel said, and Avery and Emersyn both threw a glare in his direction. He held his hands up defensively. "I mean, it would make sense. Could explain why he keeps rejecting you. Because seriously, who would reject you? You're Emersyn Collins, for Christ's sake."

Emersyn sighed. "Will you watch your mouth please? This is hallowed ground." She didn't usually mind swearing so much, but swearing in a graveyard was like swearing in a church in her eyes. Just as disrespectful. "And what does that mean? I'm Emersyn Collins. I don't know what you're getting at."

Axel rolled his eyes. "Okay, you're like my little sister, so I mean this in a strictly platonic sense. But you're hot, Em!" She felt her face grow warm, and she averted her eyes, embarrassed. "Seriously! You've got that hippie dippie redhead thing going for you. When we were in school together, I'd swear over half the male population had a crush on you. And I'd bet a lot of the females did too."

She shook her head, finding his words to be ridiculous. "You are such a liar," she said as she moved over to the next dirty grave. "If that's true, then why did I remain single throughout most of high school?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know. Maybe because you made yourself unavailable. I mean, Avery and I barely heard anything from you in four years. And we're your best friends. After your grandma... well, you just completely shut down. On everyone. But the point is, he would have to be crazy not to want you. Or, he'd have to be already taken. See where I'm going with this?"

She did, and she hated it. "Okay, great. So he's either an alcoholic, or he's already in a relationship and I'm just a homewrecker. Fantastic." Her friends were not helping her at all. "I'm done with this conversation. Next topic please."

"Em, don't be like that," Avery said, and Emersyn could feel her blood pressure begin to rise. "Listen, it really doesn't matter what Zeke is doing in the city. What matters is that you are finally in a place to open your heart again. And that's something really special. You've had a challenging few years, and I'm proud of you. And no matter what happens, things will work out. Whether it's with Zeke or not. You'll see. And we'll be here for you no matter what."

Axel nodded. "Exactly. Through thick and thin, we got your back. Even when you're being a bitch." That was it. Emersyn reached down, grabbed the hose, and pointed it at Axel before turning the nozzle on and spraying him. He threw his hands up to cover himself from the sudden blast of water coming his way, but it wasn't enough to keep him from getting totally soaked. When she turned the water off, he was dripping wet from head to toe.

Avery just shook her head. "You were warned not to swear in the graveyard," she said, and Emersyn gave her a high five. Axel shook his wet hair like a dog before grabbing the hose himself and spraying both of the girls in an act of sweet revenge. Before they knew it, they were having a water fight in the middle of the graveyard. Maybe not the best activity, but it was exactly what Emersyn needed to boost her mood. By the time they had all three plopped down to the ground, sopping wet and out of breath, she felt much better.

"You guys are too much," Emersyn panted, enjoying the feeling of the grass as it stuck to her wet t-shirt. Avery laughed beside her, and she felt what she thought was Axel's sneaker lightly kick her sandaled foot. She shook her head and rolled to her side, preparing to get back to work, when she caught sight of the grave she'd been cleaning just before the water fight started. Vance Montgomery. Born on January 18, 1980 and died on September 13, 2001. Emersyn's brow furrowed as she stared at the stone. She jumped to her feet, startling both of her friends, and ran over to her bike to pull her phone out of the basket.

"Everything okay?" Axel asked, and she could hear the concern in his voice. But Emersyn didn't answer. She was too busy scrolling through social media, looking for her newest friend: Zeke Thatcher. Her heart was racing as she clicked on his profile and searched through his About Me page until she stumbled across his birthday. April 7, 2002. She closed her eyes and attempted to do some quick math in her head.

"Em?" Avery called, and she could hear her friend slowly get to her feet behind her and join her by her bike. Emersyn was still doing the math, but her adrenaline was going so fast it was hard for her to think. When she opened her eyes again, she didn't look at Avery or Axel, who were both staring at her like she'd lost her mind. No, her eyes went back to Vance Montgomery's stone. She reread the dates again and again, double, triple, quadruple checking her own math in her head. And the dates fit.

"I need to go," she said, and she could feel her friends' surprise as she ran over to pack all the cleaning supplies back into her basket. Her hands were quaking as she dumped the bucket of soapy water out into one of the nearby bushes before tossing it into the basket. Avery and Axel clearly had no idea what was happening, but they helped Emersyn pack up anyway. And by the time she jumped on her bike and began riding home, she was wide awake and full of excitement. Because Vance Montgomery was only 21 when he'd died. And he'd died several months before Zeke was born. He was the only man she'd found in that graveyard who fit all the criteria. Granted, it wasn't much criteria to go off of, but they'd been at it for months now and he was the only match so far.

When she rolled up to her house, she didn't even bother putting her bike away before running inside and turning on her laptop she'd barely used in weeks. It took a while to boot up, but when it did, she opened her web browser and typed the name Vance Montgomery Coupeville WA into the search engine. An obituary notice from over 20 years ago popped up. She scanned the words on the webpage and learned that Vance Montgomery had died of a car accident at the young age of 21. He was a Coupeville native and was survived by his mother Marilyn, his father Benji, and his little brother Sal.

She opened another tab on her browser and searched the name Sal Montgomery Coupeville WA. Nothing came up other than the obituary for his brother, and she felt immediately frustrated. But then she deleted the words Coupeville WA and replaced them with Whidbey Island. She tapped her fingers on the table as she scrolled through the pages with her other hand. And then she found it. Sal's Cake Corner, a bakery in Oak Harbor, owned and operated by a Sal Montgomery. She clicked on the link and was led to a social media page that showed a dark-haired man with long, thick curls standing in front of a small hole in the wall store in Oak Harbor. Above the front door was a sign in the shape of a cartoon chocolate cake with the words Sal's Cake Corner in goofy script.

It took a while, but she finally found Sal's personal page. It wasn't private, thank goodness, so she was able to scroll through and search through his friends. Her heart was racing as she stumbled across a Benji and a Marilyn Montgomery, which confirmed that she did, in fact, have the right Sal. Her hand rested against her mouth as she stared at the picture of Sal, looking for any sort of resemblance to Zeke. He definitely had Zeke's curly hair, although his was much darker. But she didn't know what Vance looked like. The obituary hadn't come with a picture, so she couldn't compare. But something in her gut was telling her she wasn't wrong here.

She wanted desperately to call Zeke and tell him, but just as she was about to hit the call button, she remembered what her friends had said. And if he was in the city visiting some girlfriend, she certainly didn't want to be the one to disturb him. Besides, before she told him, she should be absolutely sure it was a lead worth checking out. If it wasn't, and she'd told Zeke before she knew for certain, that could break his heart. No, she couldn't do that. Wouldn't do that. She had to know for sure. So she checked the bakery page one last time, and saw they opened at eight o'clock in the morning. Probably before Zeke came back. She set an alarm in her phone for half past six the next morning. If Sal was Zeke's uncle, she didn't want to waste any time. She wanted to know. And she planned on finding out first thing in the morning.

Chapter Twenty

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