Persephone

Two weeks later

22nd August

Day off work today, which was nice.

Time to finally sit down and relax, refocus on my writing music - kinda feels as though I’ve abandoned it recently, given Noah’s recent passing let alone how hectic the holiday season has been at the leisure park but at the end of the day I suppose earning was better than not.

So I couldn’t complain.

Even though being in the same house as Mum for twenty four hours made me want to contemplate throwing myself off a sea wall.

“Seph! Seph, can you come downstairs please?”

For fuck’s sake, what did she want now?

That was the issue with having a parent who worked as a teacher - they had the summer holidays off just like you.

So whenever I was home, so was she.

At least my dear old brother Joe was off at drama school like the pathetic piece of shit he was though, I had to count that for a win.

“What is it?” I asked, as I opened my bedroom door, with my guitar slung on my shoulder. “I’m kind of-”

“Seph, will you just do as you’re fucking told and come downstairs into the lounge, rather than acting like an overdramatic twat for once please?!?”

See what I mean?

The vocal abuse I got day in day out - was enough to drive someone to a breakdown in itself.

But it wasn’t as though she was going to make an effort to change her ways any soon though, was it?

That just was not the type of person she was nor ever would be.

“Fine,” I retaliated, slamming my door shut, as I placed my guitar on the floor outside my door. “This better be some kind of a life threatening emergency-”

I didn’t get days off work in the summer period a lot, hence why I longed to make the most of each minute.

And preferably not to be plagued with inconveniences from Mum.

A few moments later I came downstairs into the kitchen to find Mum sitting in the lounge sprawled across our sandstone coloured sofa watching This Morning, like some kind of lazy arse teenager (I swear this is the fourth day in the row she’s done this now), with her phone clenched in her hand. Her chocolate brown hair was scraped back into a messy bun, as she wore a charcoal grey Adidas hoodie and hid her left hand in her sleeve.

“There you are,” She looked up. “Two things,” She paused the TV. “Firstly, what you’re gonna do is get me a cup of tea and secondly you’re, actually three things you’re gonna do,” She slowly sat up. “The first one is you’ll get me a brew, secondly you will go shopping later this afternoon for me and the third one is that you’ll go and visit your Nan once you’ve come home and packed the shopping away and apologise for acting like a pathetic little brat.”

Here we fucking go.

Anyone got a gun so I can end the pain here, and not have to listen to her pathetic demands.

I mean let’s look at the list - firstly, she has a fucking four by four 21” Ranger Rover parked out there so she’s more than bloody capable of driving nine minutes to Tesco to do the shop, secondly she has done fuck all for most of this week aside from watch TV like some depressed teenager so I’m sure a few steps to the kettle and back won’t hurt, and thirdly well to be honest as much as I know she’ll never listen to me or my reasoning, Nan quite rightly deserved to be spoken too the way I did the other week.

After all the amount of pain and trauma she’s inflicted upon me.

It’s enough to want to drive anyone to suicide.

“Or maybe why don’t you get off your arse and go for a drive so I can actually work on my music for once,” I said, folding my arms. “God, you really like to boss me around like I’m some kind of little skivvy don’t you?”

But she never did it with her precious little Joseph no.

Oh no.

Always had the golden treatment he did, her beloved little son.

“Excuse me, how dare you speak to me like that,” She snapped, switching off the TV. “You don’t realise how you are sometimes Seph, you know most mothers would have kicked you out given all of the fractures and divisions you’ve caused within the family.”

Me.

It was always fucking me.

“Or maybe you should just take a long hard look at yourselves and see how each and every single one of you has had a hand in me turning out the way I am, how about that?” I retaliated.

As they might as well give as good as you get, eh?

Chapter One: "Just Prisoners of This Life" (I)

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